We got another card, no signature, full of groceries in another gift card, and it makes me cry. I so hope whoever it is knows how much we appreciate it.
I suspect a lot of it is that on this Monday last year I went to sleep with visions of Playdate fun dancing in my head. I would have to go back and look to even know what we did that day, it is a blur. Ol' Mother Hubbard came and dropped the kids to me with the news that David was likely in some trouble. Then it seemed like a hundred years, but still that Tuesday Playdate somehow when we got the news he was gone. How awful it was to have to tell my Mom. I remember so well how excited she was to see me on a different day than usual. Ugh, yucck.
So, I'll go with Ol' Mother Hubbard and Pete on the actual date, and do what? Cry I guess, hold a hand, give a squeeze.
So, I'm going to give a lesson here. I'm a teacher because I like to learn and share and because I do not like surprises. Maybe one day a gramerling will be flipping through the memory books I make and take note. When they advise you to have several months of income for some strange and unusual situation, take heed.
Handy Man had so many things wrong with his heart. Apparently, before the Widow maker was one hundred percent occulded, his heart created a new circuit that kept him going how long? Then it grew three times the average size and could have blown at any moment. Then his heart rhythm was way on off and he had no idea. So crazy.
So, thankfully, we were as prepared as we could be. I mean when you've hardly ever used insurance and have no idea what it pays, how would you even know that with the first trip you'd already be $6, 000 out of pocket. I don't know what the hospital bill will be, but I know the surgeon charges 35, 000 dollars for his services. Can you even wrap your head around that. And, if this didn't fix the ejection fraction, another procedure, wow.
So, just do it, and when you retire when you want to, use that income to like cruise around the world or something amazing.
I've never had much of a bucket list. For several reasons. One, I'm pretty content just losing myself in a book or digging up a fossil with wide-eyed wee folk. Nothing makes me much happier then feeding my people and singing with a little thrown together band. Another big reason is my motion sickness. I would have to be very wealthy to travel (by plane), because I'd have to recover for a week before I could sight see and recover another week when I got home. Trust me, it is kind of awful, so travel isn't much on my list. Except, I'm about to be sixty and I have long been enamored with the artist Tasha Tudor and would love to go and see her cottage and artwork which happens to be in Vermont, which I would also love to see. The tickets, are to my thinking, way expensive and only sold for a few days in January before they are sold out. Rae asked me would I like to plan a Vermont vacation with them and see the cottage, as it was open on my fall break. The ultimate sacrifice for a girl who hates car travel and Vermont is a long way. I decided to go for it. I waited impatiently and excitedly for the tickets to be up online and grabbed three. We decided Michael and kiddos didn't have enough interest to warrant the ticket price. We'd find them a better option. Then I found this fabulous lake in the mountains with affordable cabins, and we could cook our own food.
Well, as you might guess, the bottom has fallen out of that plan. If Handy Man goes back to work like he hopes, he will have zero time off for quite a bit. If he doesn't, well, a vacation for me is not in the works. So, another reason I'm a bit emotional, I wrote to the family expressing my sadness at not being able to come. I asked, since the tickets have long been sold out, could someone on a waiting list be offered these tickets. I explained the situation and even gave her the blog address so she could see it was legit. Nope, sorry, can't be returned or transferred. Wow.
So, wow.
But tomorrow is the Fairy Ball and my beautiful fairies will make me smile. And when the tears have come and gone I'll try to remember that I know the Master of the Wind and it will all work out somehow.
And on Saturday, Drummer and Gwen had a big post July 4th party. Gwen is always so festive. It is ever fun to watch these kids grow up and now their kids grow up. Everyone is always so surprised by how well Handy Man is coming along and it is sweet to hear of their concerns and prayers.
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