Monday, October 21, 2013

Take the Long Way Home

Which is the only way to get from the low country of South Carolina to home.
My intention was to regale you with all the loveliness of our vacation. Sadly, I have food poisoning and  am currently entirely miserable.
Boy, took care of a little weight gain speedy quick.  Six pounds in one day.
I'll be back.

Friday, October 11, 2013

Another Little Westerly Wind

Ceece wanted to snap some senior piks in our picturesque creek, so Bean and Bugg brought their new cousin, Westerly, to visit with me whilst Mama was doing her thing.  This was his second visit. The first time we just passed him around and smooched him all afternoon.  
This visit he was very interested in checking out his surroundings.
It was the sweetest thing to watch Bean and Bugg show him their ol' stomping grounds.  They wanted him to see all their "places."   
I tried to impress this on my heart and mind. 
When the heat is off for awhile, you think of things you don't think of when you are just getting through.  Work and garden and chickens and bees and dog and bunnies and gramerlings and playdates and ever thinking about Aunt Lois kept me treading water in the present.
Though it's grievious, I do know she's in a far better place than ever we could have provided and I've moved Playdates to every other week for winter plus, I'm in the midst of a rather glorious fall break.  That gives me time to swim out in the question of tomorrows.
I'm realizing that this old place is way too big of one for me and one Handy Man.   We use four rooms. Otherwise, we don't even enter the other ones unless the gramerlings are here.  It just  doesn't seem the best use of such an old farm house.
But lands, the thought of leaving it is breath grabbing.  I'm not in any frame to give up Playdates, chickens or bees. Anyway, it is probably time to have this conversation and start some long range planning.
All that to say that whilst putting Westerly in the the dolphin swing, those memories of sliding that little Bean into the seat for the first time came roaring in like a flood.  Wow, nine years.  It is possible that we won't be in this location when Bean and Bugg have their own littles ones. But, if I can do anything about it, there will always be a dolphin swing, if it hangs from the kitchen doorway.

We started with a long walk along the creek, like I've done with every new little one.  Bean and Bugg pointed out the creek, walnuts, flowers, paths and Bugg found a perfect leaf to match his outfit. You can see he was very impressed.
After the walk, it was time for the swing, with everyone taking a turn gently pushing his tinyness. I believe, like his cousins before him, Westerly would have been happy to stay there.

There was more to share.  He needed to play in the tree fort, see the bees and before heading home, a visit to the chicken coop.

Missy Bugg gathered eggs for him to see.

 And Bean introduced him to our favorite chicken, Snow White, the old and faithful hen.
I was so hoping when he came to play next summer that he would have two new playmates, but alas, another family was chosen for those little twins.  Hard that.  Leaning on the everlasting arms.

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Fall Break

 Ahh, a break in fall, in what looks to be the very loveliest weather of the year.
What is one to do on such a break.
Trap yard gnomes of course.  What a cute one! Don't think I need to try anymore.
Actually Giddy-up was having an early morning visit with the bunnies.  Then he needed to drive his vehicle through the garden, but alas, there was a pile of dirt.
This meant a need for his concrete mixer.  When we filled the bucket, he felt like the bunnies were in desperate need of a bucket of fresh garden dirt, so back to the bunny pen.

Wait, new friends arriving. It's my buddy, Baby Boy.

Let's see, what to do next?  Oh, dress up in your Sunday best to hunt salamanders and worms.
Mud puppies are just the best creatures ever!

Missy Bugg missed most of the day's festivities due to eye appointments.  She'll be sporting a pirate eye patch for  a weakling eye for the next few weeks.  Still, we made some lovely fall decorations with our indian corn.  This is one of my very favorite pictures of Miss Swee- Tee.  Love it.

 How else to end a fabulous fall day then with caramel apples, which must be chomped from the side due to loose tooths.


Saturday, October 5, 2013

Adoption Prayer

You already know Lord Jesus,
from the time she was wee, she loved babies.
She's color blind, really and really.
She had to have gotten that gene from both of us. The gene for baby loving she got from me.
More than anything, I wanted to be a mom, of many,  and that really has ever been the desire of her heart.

I'd like to believe the gene for not seeing what color that baby is, also came from me.
New crayon in the crayola box, the color, "mine."  The only one that matters to my girl.

I didn't know how hard it would be.
How that longing could stretch you in two.

How blessed I was to have a front row seat to that little joy bearing sprite we welcomed into the world two and a half years ago.
How absolutely horrified I was at what came after.  Clutching one babe to my chest, while my grown up baby was fighting for her life.
Then the news that I wouldn't witness anymore babies that way.
Honestly, since you already know, relief.  That is the most terrified I've ever been in my life.
Equally, broken hearted for that baby loving girl.

Here we are, you know.
Two years into this color blind desire for another baby. Who knew?  Money, money, money, anxiety, joy, fear, the unknown.

A phone call, two babies Lord.  
Yes, please, throw our name in the hat.

Our name, you know, is a picture book of her family.

So I pray, trusting you know that the prayer is hard and from my heart.

Lord, be merciful.  Come close, peek into this place we're living.
Into that mama who's chosen life for those two little babies finishing up their last few weeks under heart. Look ahead, where we can't look, and see where those two tiny lives would best flourish and grow. Illuminate for that mama the "right" family. And when she chooses, let it be completely done.

I don't want to pray that prayer, you know.  I want to scream, beg, plead,  "What, what would it take, I'll do it, just pick her." " Pick my girl. " 

I don't because, there are some things I know-
I know whom I have believed, and am persuaded that He is able, to keep that which I've committed, unto Him against that day.
So I pray the prayer that never fails- "Your will be done."

Then, I add -
Please let a peace that passes understanding swirl around her bones and settle her heart and mind.  

Thank you.