Early Fireworks

Well, it's official. Handy Man and I went to school this morning and I signed my contract to teach second grade.  A bonus, the principal wanted to hear about all of my plans.  Handy Man helped me carry some boxes to their new homes.
Next, we headed to Health and Harmony to lay in a good supply of probiotics and supplements to boost Handy Man's immune system in preparation for the big day.
Rae and Giddy-Up came out  to visit, while Michael stayed home with our poor little wheezy Mr. Smiley.  Drummer Boy needed to do grass cutting duty tonight, so he came over with his crew.  While Handy Man was entertained on the porch, I worked in this little front garden bed.

  All the cousins headed to the creek.  Later they came up to play and play all around the place.  It makes my heart so happy to hear them. Not a harsh word and so much fun, well except  when for our little Pixie met up with a spider too big for her to enjoy.
It makes me happy because every other book and article I read points to lack of free play and overuse of electronics being the cause of the anxiety in so many little kids.You would never know there was an age span of six years.   They caught a minnow that didn't make it, so they went up the hill to have a proper burial and ceremony.
Drummer Boy then helped them enjoy some fireworks left over from something. They played happily way past bedtime, till the fireflies came to join them. 

Please note the proper attire for fireworks- Pappy's shirt and a crown. Always a crown on that wee Pixie girl.

Handy Man said today that all this rest and relaxation has grown old. He's feeling what I already knew, he's just a working man.

Thank you for continued prayers that this surgery will result in a well mended heart.

Busy Birthday

Lots of visitors for Handy Man's birthday. Drummer Boy brought the littles who played while he cut the grass on Sunday.  Rae came with her family, along with Gardener E. and his Mom and Sister. Ceece had some lunch with us and a great visit, bringing Pap's favorite beverage.  Our day was busy and full.
Monday was quieter. I continued to spend time on an ice pack, but wandered out and about for a bit to pull some dastardly creeping charlie and put in a few more tomatoes.
I went back to school on Tuesday and three amazing blessings showed up to help me clean and move 5th grade materials across the hall. What a gift!   I was back today for a technology P.D, but left early for a therapeutic massage appointment that did seem to relieve the discomfort in my hip and leg.  Handy Man's neck has been bothering him and our therapist had another half hour, so he greatly appreciated her tackling his sore neck.
Then we went to visit our new digital library and learned how to use the laser cutter, engraver.  How cool is it for our very own library to have a maker space. As if I could even be more in love than I already am with that book paradise!
 If you ever care to see Handy Man's grouchy side, just take a computer class with him.  "Dear, please don't cuss at this sweet girl librarian."  The instructor could not have been any better.  Even Handy Man's inappropriate distress calls did not ruffle her feathers in the least. She just rushed right over and undid what he didn't want done, set things aright and by George, he got it.

This was cut and engraved. I'm guessing this is how he sees himself now since much of his days are spent reading. 

I desire for this to be my motto. Some days it seems so, others, not so much. 

Just so you know, as I would never want to deny you a glimpse of our amazing creativity and talent, it took me a half hour to move these two pictures from my camera onto this page for your viewing pleasure.  

I've been experiencing one unusual occurrence after another with this ol' Mac.  I got it in 2009 and at about three and half years had to get a new hard drive.  This one has  gone on a long time and it is giving it up, I fear.  Not the best timing, but I can't say I haven't gotten my money's worth. 

So now I had best go and delete the hundreds of extra pictures it loaded that I didn't want it to before it blows from the load of thousands of pictures.

We did learn that the surgery will be at our local hospital.

I also learned that my favorite nurse will on vacation. Whaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Partying Early

Whew, it was a long week to end my year with my fifth graders. Might be my last, to teach fifth anyway. I think I've long been ready for a change.
Handy Man's birthday is tomorrow, but we've already begun the celebration.
He's had a steady flow of visitors, cards, gift cards, a new novel, balloons, strawberry jam and a yummy homemade dessert.

Then fresh picked strawberries.  Ever eat them dipped in sour cream and brown sugar?  

Don't knock it till you've tried it.

You're welcome stop by and see him tomorrow as well. We've still got plenty of cake.

Then it was a Juanita's People Fest at my nephew Tony's.

Thank you Tony and Beki for hosting. I know exactly how much fun that is and how much work.

We celebrated Handy Man with another cake.

 

I mean really, is there anything finer than a serving tray of spent rifle shells to go with your pretty pink dresses?
I'm sorry, this cracks me up.  While my family can be a little wild and crazy, perhaps now and again in the wrong direction, I gotta love when no one bats an eye at the joy of this discovery.

The key to my heart, some good tunes and a baby- done and done.  My great-great nephew.

 I wasn't moving around much this evening and turned my camera over to Missy Bugg.  She did a good job capturing shots important to me.  Like when I get to share a moment with these kiddos I love so dearly.

Of course, she caught Rae laughing.

And when I see the older ones teaching the younger ones- be still my heart.  It just speaks family to me. 

I got the camera back to get a snap of Missy Bugg. 

Thanks Aunt Tish and SuzQ for pulling it all together.

Sick Day

I'm home again today, only this time it is a Sick Day for me.  I could have gone and worked in my classroom, my kids are gone to camp, but I guess all the yard work has not been viewed favorably by my back. My leg finds my activities distressing, and since there were no visitors on the schedule for Handy Man today, I stayed home to visit.
This here has been a very heartwrenching and often confusing path, finding a plan for healing.  It just isn't always easy to feel peace, much less joy.  I'm always reminded of the advice Mr. Roger's Mom gave him whenever there was a catastrophic event, "Look for the helpers." 
For me, learning that Handy Man had a injured heart that might not be fixable was catastrophic.
We've had so many helpers step up. Some I've mentioned already. 
Just this weekend our retired doctor friend, with his sweetie,  went out of their way to help us find our way around  this medical muddle. They came out here to talk to Handy Man personally, to give a results driven medical opinion and then to pray for us. 
My sister thought a visit from our favorite traveling minstrel, with his own heart story, might be just the thing to bring some peace and it was.

There isn't much I enjoy more than sharing stories and songs on my front porch.  I think it so helpful for Handy Man to see people who have faced these same issues, getting along, loving life.

He sang a song I didn't know, and as is my practice, I went straight to You Tube to check out Tom Waits singing Come on up to the House, after he left.  I don't know if you believe in "signs" or maybe God Winks, but sometimes I just take if for what it is.  So I type in the singer and the name of the tune and the first one up I click on and nearly faint. Someone has done a very interesting video and the picture is a  man's chest with his heart drawn where it goes on the outside his chest.   The next surprise is how gravelly that man's voice is. Sure different than my minstrel friend, but fits that song for true.  So I send the link to the video to  my sister and our friend.

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z6oTvW1i7Sc

 I want to hear it again, but that picture never comes up on top, no matter how times I've clicked on that link.   You have to watch till the middle, to not only see his heart on his chest, but it is strongly beating. I find this particularly interesting since the word  "heart" is never mentioned, though matters of the heart are strongly implied.

Sister SuziQ is here from Florida and she and her hubby came to spend the afternoon with Phil while I had an afterschool function to attend yesterday.  Then we cooked and had dinner together, another favorite activity of mine.

The days are long when you are waiting and waiting, so Handy and I appreciate every phone call, encouraging or helping message, prayer, card and visit.  Drummer Boy has faithfully hacked back the weeds and mowed each week.

 Thank you!

It might happen, as it did with this week's visitors, that you take home eggs, or perhaps homemade bread, or even cinnamon rolls.

A Date and A Plan

June 12
Heart repair, one valve, two arteries and aneurysm resection.  For reasons unknown to us, a complete change of plans regarding the carotid artery.
What an exhausting road.

Just Putzing

I haven't managed to get my camera anywhere it seems.
Last night Rae and family came out and Gideon's friend June Bugg.
It was our spring musical at school so I took Handy Man and Gideon and June Bugg to see Aladdin.
It brought back the memory of the Christmas that Disney movie came out on video.  Right after Christmas, we had a run of snow and ice and we watched that movie about a hundred times.  It brought Robin Williams to mind.  Such talent!

Sometimes you would just like a genie.

Today we headed to HH to see Bugg and Bean swim and swim and swim- eleven events between them.  We managed for about two hours, before the heat and that sticky vest was trying Handy Man's patience.
 I ran into a sweet girl from my kid's grade school years.  When Rae had an unusual medical experience at 19, she suggested a doc she worked for that turned things around for Rae.  She loved him so much,  and while she was glad and thankful to be healed, she was sad to say good-bye to that kindhearted, wise soul.
Well, sweet girl had worked in cardiac for many years and thought me might want to talk to a friend of hers across the river.  She will try to hook us up and in the meantime, I will have to see how our insurance works.
Otherwise, we wait, ponder, worry, wonder, and hope.

Just Some Digging

Long time visitors here might recall that a couple of years back I requested garden beds for all future gifts.
This Mother's Day saw my second one completed.
Handy Man had threatened that I would have to drive the truck to the dirt place to get the filling.  I don't drive his truck. It is too important to him and way too big for me to feel comfortable.
He insisted.
So I drove into the place and pulled over and had him drive all around the place.
I loved, even though it was just a few minutes, to see a very content look on his face. Loved that few minutes of so normal when he was where he likes to be and so was I.
When we were loaded and paid, we switched again.
We pulled into the yard and I again turned it over to him to get the truck in place for emptying.
I said I had to get a picture of him and he said he had to get one of me.  I said, "Oh, fine, I'll just delete it."  He said his picture wasn't going here if mine didn't.
Ugh.
So, between us, we emptied the truck.
This picture right chere is why he has such a hard time believing his heart is in the shape it's in.

The doctor's orders were to do anything that didn't make him breathless.  I keep talking to him because I recognize a change in his voice when he's done too much.  We took a little break, but not long.

I went up the hill to dig up some mountain mint to plant in the corners.  Deer don't care for mint, so doing all I can to keep them out of the garden.

Faux Appointment

For a very long time I suspected a vascular problem in my Handy Man.
So while I was frightened when his legs began swelling, I wasn't exactly surprised.  When the primary person didn't see the problem or the need for further testing, I figured my suspicions would end in an emergency situation, and there we were.
I was surprised however and perhaps a bit devastated,  to learn of the extent of damage on April 22, following the heart cath.

Since then all we've wanted was a plan.  I knew the plan might not be the one we hoped for, might be a hard one, but whatever we were facing, let's get her done.

We we were so relieved when his appointment with the surgeon was changed from almost four weeks out to today.

Then we got a call this morning that it was moved up from 11:30 to 10:00.
We were there at 9:40, not a soul in sight.  About 9:55 the receptionist and nurse came in and before long we were in a room.
We saw the surgeon at 11:00
I thought that finally, today, twenty-five days later, we, at last, would have a plan.
Nope.
Basically we learned very little beyond what I already knew.
The heart can be surgically repaired, but he has not calculated the risk, when he does, he'll call.

Just another day in Limbo Land.

Giants

Giants come in all shapes and sizes don't they.
Handy Man was off to visit forest giants today with Gwen and the Gramerlings. I told him to be sure and take my camera to keep him balanced while he wandered. You know, battery box on one side, camera on the other.

But first a call from Angelcakes, who once again managed to go where mere mortals fear to tread and got us an appointment for Thursday afternoon. 

It is just so very strange that for a solid week we were told the same grim news over and over, and then it's like, oh, no one will see you or check your heart, or your kidney function for four and half weeks. I don't like being unnerved, I don't one bit, however, it is what it is -unnerving.

My class and fourth grade had a big field trip today, on a tour bus, two hours away.  I do not like shirking my duties, but no way can I be two hours from home.  I saw them off this morning trusting their care to my long time teacher friend Ms. Glitzy and our Principal. The music teacher couldn't be there today, so I switched hats and did music, well, sort of, with all sizes of wee folk. We had big time. It helps that I have baby chickens to bribe, umm, encourage good behavior- just saying.

Another friend posts scripture each day on FB.

Psalms 90:17
May our sovereign God extend his favor to us! Make our endeavors successful! Yes, make them successful! 

 I do not remember ever reading this scripture, but it sure sounded like one I needed to hear and say, oh about every minute, for who knows how long.

For all who are endeavoring for Handy Man to know good health again,

May our sovereign God extend his favor to us! Make our endeavors successful! Yes, make them successful! 

Amen!

So today was Handy Man's biggest outing. He's now passed out on the chair beside me. First he showed me all the cool pictures.

He said he took this picture because these fish were bigger than anything he caught the other day.

Happy Giants- love it.

Yes, I Checked

The top of my head is still there. No one is more surprised than me.
I'm thinking through how this has gone, how I could have been given such wrong information and timing.
So the cardiologist shared, three weeks ago today, that basically, Handy Man's heart was nearly finished and scared us to death.
Next comes the surgeon, which will be three weeks this Wednesday, to say he will have a cardiac MRI in seven to ten days, and then proceed with surgery, if he is a candidate, or other options. As if this was all going to happen, like just as soon as it could, as in most every heart patient I've ever known.
So, it wasn't seven to ten days, it was sixteen and since it was on Friday, I knew it would be a few days until we knew what we were dealing with.
Know how to plan for our life.
We did the follow-up with the cardiologist and nephrologist who assured us that they would see us after surgery and the follow-up with the surgeon.
All day  today I waited to hear from Handy Man which day this week we would have the follow-up and instructions for what would happen next.
I came home at lunch since no one was coming for a visit today- nothing.
When I hadn't heard anything by the end of school, I knew I would have to start calling tomorrow.
I had a conference after school and during that the time, the call came from the surgeon.
June 6th.
What?  You must have misunderstood.
No, June 6th.
Six plus weeks from striking terror in our hearts. Six weeks to wait and know absolutely nothing, except the warning we were given that his heart could just stop at any time.
I just don't get it.
These are times that try men souls.
Is this Divine Intervention that I can't see, that makes room for possibilities I can't understand?
Or is it just being jacked around by  the system who just isn't the least bit concerned?
It surely makes my head spin.
Thank you for your continued prayers and support.

Stick a Fork in Me

So, we are home.
Due to some situation with kidney meds, they were way late starting said meds, so way late for  the MRI. Then the MRI that I was told would be 30 minutes to an hour, was an hour and a half, then the four hours I was told to run an IV after, was six. We left at 5:30 this morning and got home at 5:00.
Though I asked the surgeon's office could they at least put us on the calendar for a consultation about results, so I could you know, plan for a sub and such, but the answer was, "No." 
So, your guess is as good as mine when we will know something more.

The Handy Man of Not Many Words said, "It was weird."


So there you go folks, all the news that is news here in Limbo Land.

Eeyore- My Fave

I just love me some Eeyore.
Why?
Because I get him.

“The old grey donkey, Eeyore stood by himself in a thistly corner of the Forest, his front feet well apart, his head on one side, and thought about things. Sometimes he thought sadly to himself, “Why?” and sometimes he thought, “Wherefore?” and sometimes he thought, “Inasmuch as which?” and sometimes he didn’t quite know what he was thinking about.~

“If it seems as though you haven’t ‘felt at all how’ for a long time, look behind  you. It could be that your tail is missing.” ~

“When your tail is missing, Remember you have every right to Mope.”~

I am just a melancholy type of person. I don't want to be and there are times I can push my Eeyorishness in the back corner for awhile.

Then a trigger, and out he comes.

It came in the mail, the trigger, in the form of medical records from the primary person.  Where right there, in black and white, in October and November and January.  Elevated blood pressure, chest pain, pain radiating down shoulder and arm.  I certainly know that the level of damage in Handy Man's heart did not happen instantly with the heart event the night before the emergency room, but I know from the records that in October his kidneys were functioning in complete normal range and now they are not.

My tail is missing.

As I've said, I have a very hard time with my usual way of praying in a crisis.  People sing in the shower, so this evening, from somewhere came a tune and I begin to sing all the prayers in my heart.  My, it was a long song to Jesus, and with the tune and the  prayer came the tears of this very scary, tail missing place.  I came away with more peace than I've known in these three weeks.  I am thankful for that.

Thankful to find a sunshine basket from Ol' Mother Hubbard on my desk after a very challenging week at school.

Thankful for Handy Man having a visit by  sons and a sister.

Thankful for a teacher, who will check on the chicks in my absence (We lost two today.)

Thankful for a friend who shares an apple and our cares and joys each afternoon.

For retired teachers who lend a hand and a basket of flowers.

For a principal that makes what is so hard for me easier.

Prayers for Handy Man to have a calm and easy day tomorrow as they look at his heart while protecting his kidneys. 

Here Little Fishy

Shan and Cliff came to visit this morning before they move south.
My nephew Tony had asked a couple of times if there was anything he could do. Since he and Handy Man both like to fish, I suggested perhaps they go fishing.
I packed a snack bag for him this morning and stuck the camera in it.  I said, "Dude, I'm digging through the archives for something to post here where your peeps are checking you out. I need some new material."  "How about you take some creative pictures?"
Well, here they are folks.

A picture of his bobber, with the comment that this was how it looked most of the time, you know, as opposed to sinking with the weight of a fish on the line.

He reported that it was a good time.

Someone called this morning to pre-register him for Friday and told him to be sure and bring his $440 entrance fee.

Then someone called tonight to do the same thing.

It is kind of scary for everyone to have every bit of information about your life.

We had barely made it home from the hospital before I got a message from the bank saying someone was trying to access our account.  

We took a trip to Sam's this evening to check some different kinds of low sodium herb blends. 

We live an exciting life now!

Steady As She Goes

Or he in this case.  No negative changes at the cardiologist. While we waited, we made up all kinds of scenarios he might entertain us with.  Nothing, just the usual check-up. The Doc isn't happy with Handy Man's heart rate, so a little med adjustment. 
We had a bit of  time between appointments to have some breakfast and look at plants.
Haven't heard anything on his labs, so assuming all is well.
We got a call that everything is now lined up for his pre and post meds for the cardiac MRI.  It will be another very early and  long day.
I'm pretty good at a few things, but waiting and wondering have never been my strong suit.  Today is eleven days since we got the shocking news about Handy Man's heart and still have no idea where this is going.  It is wearing.
So, just putting some pictures here that make me smile and take me away for a minute.

long