Why?
Because I get him.
“The old grey donkey, Eeyore stood by himself in a thistly corner of the Forest, his front feet well apart, his head on one side, and thought about things. Sometimes he thought sadly to himself, “Why?” and sometimes he thought, “Wherefore?” and sometimes he thought, “Inasmuch as which?” and sometimes he didn’t quite know what he was thinking about.~
“If it seems as though you haven’t ‘felt at all how’ for a long time, look behind you. It could be that your tail is missing.” ~
“When your tail is missing, Remember you have every right to Mope.”~
I am just a melancholy type of person. I don't want to be and there are times I can push my Eeyorishness in the back corner for awhile.Then a trigger, and out he comes.
It came in the mail, the trigger, in the form of medical records from the primary person. Where right there, in black and white, in October and November and January. Elevated blood pressure, chest pain, pain radiating down shoulder and arm. I certainly know that the level of damage in Handy Man's heart did not happen instantly with the heart event the night before the emergency room, but I know from the records that in October his kidneys were functioning in complete normal range and now they are not.
My tail is missing.
As I've said, I have a very hard time with my usual way of praying in a crisis. People sing in the shower, so this evening, from somewhere came a tune and I begin to sing all the prayers in my heart. My, it was a long song to Jesus, and with the tune and the prayer came the tears of this very scary, tail missing place. I came away with more peace than I've known in these three weeks. I am thankful for that.
Thankful to find a sunshine basket from Ol' Mother Hubbard on my desk after a very challenging week at school.
Thankful for Handy Man having a visit by sons and a sister.
Thankful for a teacher, who will check on the chicks in my absence (We lost two today.)
Thankful for a friend who shares an apple and our cares and joys each afternoon.
For retired teachers who lend a hand and a basket of flowers.
For a principal that makes what is so hard for me easier.
Prayers for Handy Man to have a calm and easy day tomorrow as they look at his heart while protecting his kidneys.
I love the way Eyeores friends never tell him what to do or offer advice. It aggravates me when people who've never had depression try to tell me how to handle mine. God bless you Kimberly
ReplyDeleteIt is like in these medical situations where you are asked again and again and again, do you smoke, use drugs, drink at this juncture, what exactly does that have to do with anything, though our answer is no, I feel bad for the ones who have to keep saying it over and over. Excuse me, do something helpful.
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