Adjusting

The Bionic Handy Man seems to be quite happy back in his familiar spot.  He slept and slept.

SamWise wasn't so happy about that. Sam finally gave up around seven and went on out. "Maybe tomorrow," he said.

It is kind of like when you bring your first baby home. Figuring out the best place for the big battery charger, the information transmitter, the new meds, the timing of everything- anxious to not miss the obvious. He's putzing about as he can. While it is important that he is up and moving often, it is equally as important to not overdo.  So, we're learning to find the balance.
Particularly, he's thrilled to have food he loves.

He was happy to see a familiar and loved buddy from work yesterday.

In such times, we get a lot of requests of, "What can we do?"  This is going to be a long road.  It will be at least ten days before we even know if he is a candidate for surgical repair.  Then when?  Then it is a complicated surgery and a long recovery.  The greatest gift is just checking in, sending a card, paying a little visit. Waiting days are long ones.  He can go to the movies, fishing, out to eat, whatever. 

If you know me at all, I  pretty much call a spade a spade.  That is usually because, well, it is a spade and running from it, ignoring it, or trying to make it  a heart or diamond just doesn't work out in the long haul.  So, let me just say, the Handy Man did not get "reaching out" DNA.  That being said, it doesn't mean he doesn't enjoy relationships, he just isn't good at cultivating them.  He is happy to be a part if someone is willing to initiate the process.  Just saying.

I try to say it in the moment, but it bears repeating- Thank you for every prayer, gift, text, e-mail, phone-call, treat, magazine, mowed lawn, fed dog/chicken/bunny, good food, class taught, test given and errand ran.  Thanks especially for just sitting close-by when there just isn't anymore to say, but it is less scary when I feel your shoulder pressed against mine.  Thank you for medical advice and direction-that is such a comfort to me.
 It would be very easy to go down the "why us" rabbit hole.  I want to go down that hole a different way. Why us?  Why did we get to find each other and start a life.  Why did we get to have three perfect babies and work at jobs we love?  Why did we get to ever have a roof over our heads and food to eat and medical care when we needed it?  Why did we get to have all these gramerlings that have been our delight?  Why did we get the pleasure of an ol' ramshackle farmhouse with a creek and means provided by the Handy Man to welcome so many people big and small to come and be hugged tight by Phil and fed by me?  Why did someone pay the price for us to go on into eternity in peace and love?   
I don't seem to have the ability to live in denial, but we are here in the this scary place and as often as I can, I want to feel grateful more than I feel anything else.  Even if I fall short, that is going to be my goal.  Peace and love to all today!