Saturday, October 3, 2015

In Search of the Holy Grail

Aging is not for the fainthearted I've heard say.  Well,  the same can be said for finding a safe and comfortable home for the aged.

Since receiving the awful news about what was actually happening with my sister in June, the next question on our mind and hearts was what would happen with Mom. Two weeks out, I started visiting places and put her name on a waiting list.
There is not room here to share all the many facets we've had to consider.  Mother is mobile, but frail and has poor eye sight.  My mother, for most of my life, was a whirring dervish. She worked a hard job in a cigarette factory, raised seven kids, cared for my father 29 years post aneurysm, cared for both of her parents and then took on two grandchildren to raise as well. She never was a joiner. She didn't  do bridge or bunco, shopping or concerts. She raised a garden, fed her family and every other person who would sit down at her table or take a to-go bag.  After the stroke and Kaye's death, she sat down in her chair and only gets up to go smoke.  Ahhh, the smoking, and the fact that all day long she watches one television evangelist, added to the fact that we work all day, made bringing her home with us a challenge.
We've been blessed by someone else's hard place.  A woman who needed work of sitting with and doing exactly what Mom needs was available and has joined us in her care these months, for a most ridiculously low cost. Thank you Lord!  Still, there are not funds to pay to run her house and her care.  In addition, the caretaker's situation could change, leaving us with no one.  Mom would've faced down a lion over something important to her, but has never wanted to live alone. It never occurred to her she would have to consider it. She knew GLou would care for her all her life.  Did you know that round the clock sitters cost 4 to 7 thousand dollars a month?  That sort of left us with no other choice but assisted living.  My hope was perhaps, in an apartment she might find a friend or two.  Might want to go to service where the minister was present.  But alas, there were no affordable apartments open either.  These past four months have been an exhausting, nauseating, roller coaster ride for her and us.  Aunt Tish and SuZQ trying to manage insurance, meds, vet benefits, it is just unreal what is expected of the elderly. Gwanfader joining Tish in staying nights when the caretaker is unavailable, funding keeping her home.  Handy Man going when I've had another commitment, it's been a wild ride.  We have cried rivers.
Well, the call finally came, an open apartment.  I know elderly folk, generally speaking, just do not take moves well.  My Mom doesn't want to move. So I will post this and head to town, and with my siblings begin the process of this major shift.  Would you please keep her in your prayers.  If you know and love her, could you send her a greeting, or stop by and say, "Hey."  I would appreciate it.

She made it out for Playdate. I stuck a candle in all the birthday peoples cinnamon roll and we sang Happy Birthday, several times.

Teresa was stuck in traffic, but also had a birthday in the last month, so we celebrated her as well.

After everyone headed home my sweet boys needed just one more fun activity.
I don't know how many hours I've spent standing at the sink guarding babies whilst they played in the water.

Mr. Smiley loved this, so I suspect I'll see a lot of pointing to the sink and signing more in my future.

Ahhhh, a sprinkler!

1 comment:

  1. Wonderful pictures and those last 3 sure do make me smile! I am glad you have these smiles to help counter all the stress you are dealing with. Sending hugs to all. Hope the apartment is perfect and that she does find some new friends!