Well, it was bound to happen when you are spinning too many plates. Blogger has a new style and with the new way I accidentally posted this on my school blog, not my personal blog, ugh. Thankfully I didn't say anything horrible, but way more personal than ever I would have shared.
Do you ever feel fragile, like the tipping point is so close and you will just shatter and blow away in the wind? That feeling comes to me in waves, like grief, or maybe it is grief. Yesterday at noon,I was already feeling the stress of trying to teach in such a different way than I'm accustomed to. I miss the most, being able to call my kids down to the rug and have them scooch up close and listen to a great story with wide eyed wonder. I miss hugging them good-bye. I miss that I can't let them group up and share what they are learning. There is no time in the day for all that many people to share. Sometimes it just feels like a sad place, when I used to think I had a happy room ( the new chicks helped lighten the mood). Then I got a message that Jimi was back in the hospital, his second trip since that picture on the last post. Then, of course, a multitude of other things.
I have a little rocking chair in my room that I bought when I first started this teacher gig 17 years ago. When we dismissed, it was pouring rain. I had some work still to do but I had just reached my limit. So, I pulled that rocking chair outside my room, under the awning, and rocked and cried and prayed a while. Then, I was just spent.
The good news, our fav pizza place was finally back up and running and we had that for supper. So pitiful what a cheesy carbohydrate can do to lift your spirits.
And, we did it. We finally took care of something that should have done years and years ago. We got all of our affairs in order- wills, living wills, medical directives, powers of attorney. Whew! Why do we have a tendency to put that off? I remember that it haunted me when my kids were little. I just could not, in my wildest dreams, plan on not raising my own children. Thank God no decision like that ever had to be made.
Our Saturday was very busy for us. Handy Man helped a neighbor, I had to run to school to check on the eggs and baby chicks. There were two more. Then it was library, grocery and off to Corydon to see our sweet girl, Miss Linee, in Charlotte's Web. That director did an amazing job. The sound, outside and under a mask was clear as a bell. It was just all kinds of adorable. She has a flair for the dramatic that isn't the least bit deterred by a mask. She had quite a fan group.
It can be said that all of my children are now pushing 40. Wow!
No comments:
Post a Comment