A Lot of Sad and Quiet this New Year's Eve

By the time of Bean's first New Year's Eve, his daddy was home from Army and we offered to keep him overnight so they could enjoy the evening and then get some sleep.  If I remember correctly, we were both still a bit under the weather, having driven through a blizzard to get to our Happy 25th Anniversary, Happy College Graduation destination, only to discover we'd packed the flu along with us, and then drove through another blizzard to get home.  Handy Man and I sat with him on the couch and laughed ourselves silly as he, one at a time,  pulled every tissue out of the box.  Ahem, and he continued to do so for a very. long. time. after our noses cleared- cheap entertainment. So began our New Year's Eve dates.
We added Missy Bugg on his third New Year's Eve and ever year since.
We had a fire when the weather was tolerable, Jiffy Pop popcorn and hot chocolate, sparkling juice, hats and horns at midnight and blessing gems the next morning. Sometimes we went to a movie, other times we did science experiments and we always watched the ball drop in Time's Square.  The last couple of years they would  explain to be about popular songs and artists.
I remembered to buy the fireworks after Fourth of July last year.
Ceece and I usually have a lunch date while I'm off and it fell on Monday this year.  She hadn't been to the flower place I love and I was anxious to introduce her.  I'd only been to Metal Works once, so we added that to the itinerary.

She decided to try her hand at plant tending. I thought to ask about logistics for this evening and she said, "Well."  And though I had been expecting this, I could easily have erupted into a fount of tears.  She said Bean had been invited to a party with his swim pals and Miss Bugg had been invited to a friends, but she was worried it would hurt my feelings.  I answered honestly, "It doesn't hurt my feelings at Bugg."  It does hurt my feelings, but not for any good reason. Just like with your own kids you want them to grow up and go their own way. But gee, you miss them so very much.

Gramerlings have been my joy and this fifteen  and thirteen years have flown by so quickly.

I surely hope they'll always have some memories stirring in their mind each New Year's Eve about their Gramerly.

So with nothing to do, I foolishly returned to the the playroom to continue the awful task of deciding what all I can part with, as our last little Pixie is such a big girl now.  

I've cried more today than I have in a long time.  Maybe cleansing tears, maybe ready to leave this year to memory and hope for a less eventful one that's coming. Or events of a different sort.

Still, the blessings were bountiful as well.

God Bless us everyone. 

Welcome 2020