Thursday, November 8, 2012

A Tearful Rose

It's back, that one pink rose.

 Wow, a year already.
 I will say, though I'm feeling it keenly at the moment, the missing has diminished, well, had diminished.  Not so much so that I can fold it up and put it away in my pocket, but not pushing me down, to the extent that it feels like slogging through the muck that is sucking on my shoes.
In a way, I've looked forward to today, until last week anyhow, as all the grieving literature says how much better things are after a year.  For me, I turned a corner after her August birthday, thank the Lord!
Till that point it had been a way long year.  It seems all these memories pushing and shoving to surface since Halloween, have taken me a step back.
How do you mark a year?  I don't know.  It feels like I should do something.  Does going out at sixish in the dark, with a lantern that was likely shining through my night shirt, creating what I'm sure was a ghostly (um, ghastly) image, enough to terrify any neighbor, to shoot this rose count?
I couldn't believe it came back, in November, one single rose again, on a dormant rose bush. I don't know why, but it makes me smile and cry.
Well, I'm expected in the classroom, so let's get this day done.  I've taken off the afternoon to spend some time with my mom, then Playdate, where we'll stick a candle in our Overnight French Toast and send a Happy Heavenly Birthday tune skyward.

5 comments:

  1. I don't have any words to make it better but I'm sending you a hug and a little sunshine for strength. I'm glad her rose came back.

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    Replies
    1. I'll gladly take a hug and the sunshine.

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  2. The rose is amazing. How appropriate. I hope and know it will get better, but it will come back in waves as it does when I think of my mom.

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  3. A few days late but I am remembering with you. Sending lots of love your way.

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