Saturday, May 21, 2011

Thirty Three Thousand Dollars

Thirty three thousand dollars is a bunch of money.

Today I went to snuggle that new grand boy for a few hours. He's growing like a weed. He is resting better, but still spends quite a bit of time squirmy, grunty and uncomfortable with the reflux. No, I didn't have to pay to get in and hold the wee one, but that is something to consider.
Rae-rae has long had a heart for orphans, and always wanted a house full of kids. She talked of adoption, long before she would have been able to pursue such an endeavor. That desire seemed to increase after she visited Ethiopia a couple of years ago.
Since her experience with Gideon did not go like we hoped and was in fact, quite terrifying, she's already looking ahead to coming by that next little poo-pie a different way. I imagine you've guessed it. Thirty three thousand dollars is what it costs to adopt a baby from Ethiopia.
Doesn't that break your heart? Babies who need a family, families who want a baby and only a few thousand dollars stands in the way. Gee, that is a bunch of money.
I asked about trying for an adoption locally. She shared the fear, perhaps all adoptive families have, of someone showing up at their doorstep to take the baby they've considered theirs from the moment said baby was placed in their arms. That is a terrifying thought and trust me, one I would never, ever wish on any poor soul, but it did get me thinking.
As a teacher, I feel the teaching profession has really taken a beating in our state and they aren't done (those doing the beating). Long I have believed they've chosen the wrong to tree to bark up and just continue to do so. Their belief- poor learning is a result of poor teaching. Don't get me wrong, poor teaching doesn't help, but teachers are not miracle workers. When you are given 28 children to teach 230 new standards to in one hundred and eighty days, much of your success is based on the type of learner you get. The type of learner you get is fashioned, in my experience and opinion, by their formative years 0-5. Do I feel like what happens in those years locks you into a situation for life? No, only because I believe God is a miracle worker and if you diligently seek to walk a different path, your life can take a different course. I do believe the role it plays in education is seriously overlooked. I have never had a child that wanted to learn that I couldn't find a way to teach. Children who don't want to learn, that's another story.
So what does that have to do with adoption? Oh, just meandering thoughts. When I had my first baby, I thought letting them go, as an adult, would be easy, because you know, they weren't little anymore. I didn't know that I would still feel the need to help each time they get in a tight spot, want to buy them things they want or need, hurt when they hurt, long after their childhood had ended. So, if they leave to a marriage, or to move to another town, or in rebellion as I know many parents face, it's so, so hard. Oddly enough, it's hard even when your thrilled about their choice of mate, or college, or whatever it is. You've just spent so much time, energy, emotion, etc. into them and they are gone.
All that to say, I just think that even if you risk someone showing up down the road and claiming your child, think about what they take with them, what a loving, stable home gave them. What a priceless gift.
Now, would that knowledge be enough? Not if it were me. I would be devastated, but would it have been the right thing? Just thinking, because thirty three thousand dollars is a bunch of money.


  1. Thoughtful post. Of course, to me the ideal adoption would be the private adoption where there is some connection with the birth mother all along. Of course, that is assuming that everyone acts like an adult and takes the child's best interest to heart. From my little bit of experience of volunteering at school and having a grandson with some learning troubles, teachers have a tough job and deserve praise rather than blame. Thank God, some special people become teachers despite the difficulties. We are lucky to have people like you.

  2. So much to consider. No mattter how much you try to put the right, good stuff into a child there are no guarantees of what sticks then grows. As you said; who has the answer to teach one whose interest is elsewhere. I was too worried about daddy being drunk when I got home to care much about math.

  3. what about a disabled child? Chances are significantly less that their birth parent would come back for them I would think.

  4. I is a touch situation all around I guess
    Yes, Sandy, I've never figured how they think a kid gives a flip about some, to them, ancient people, or government, when someone's dealing drugs, shooting people, etc. right in their neighborhood, or when they are afraid or hungry.