Sky Blue

Isn't grief such a strange creature? A stealth pilot, a sneaky snake, a crashing wave. Last night, lying in bed reading, Handy Man decided he needed a little late night nourishment and grabbed his Easter basket of goodies. First he pulled out his chocolate bunny and offered it to me. I declined. Next, a Russell Stover caramel egg. Crash! I'm drowning.

The last day I sat at the hospital with Kaye, I brought her a treat- a Russell Stover's treat, a favorite goody to make her smile, smack her lips, smile at me and say, "Dat's good." But she refused it. I see that whole scene in my mind so clearly, like someone had videoed from across the room and now I'm watching. Her sadness, tiredness, lifelessness so obvious to me.

I get why people used to wear black for a year. Don't get me wrong, I have no plans, nor do I think it a good idea to be in a black mood for a year, but at least you'd be recognizable as a grief stricken person. Perhaps just a band on your arm. I don't know. Sometimes I tell Handy Man, "I'm just having a moment." When that sneaky snake wraps around my tear ducts, I don't want to have to explain why I'm suddenly in tears. I didn't mean to be, it is just very suddenly present. I don't need to talk, don't want a hug, don't need a thing but a moment. I am torn because in some strange way those moments comfort me- see, I haven't forgotten, she's very there in my mind's eye, in my heart. Otherwise, I don't want my moment to make the people around me uncomfortable, which it obviously does. Yes, I realize you aren't having a moment, perhaps you never do, but I am.

Well, anyway, a new day with the bluest sky.

I don't post faces of my school kiddos on my blog. However, this year one of my sweet little fourth graders is well known to me and his mama don't mind and he loves blog appearances. Today was a special day.

It was his eleventh birthday and the day we put the eggs in the incubator at school. He got to do the honors. The girls just happened to lay eleven eggs for hatching which I had failed to connect, but he did not and was excited to put all eleven in the incubator.

Then it was Poopie night and Great Uncle Tim and I met up to take the kiddos to enjoy a rare artifact- a playground with a swing. The kids loved swinging so high and the sky was so blue and beautiful.

Wow, he fits in this one.

And what did little three year old Miss Swee-Tee say after a couple of hours at the park, walking to the car? " Are we going to yours?" "Swing in the dolphin swing?" I do not know what it is about that dolphin swing.

We ran by the house and grabbed the eggs laid today and took them to school so Missy Swee-Tee could put them in the incubator as she has not been privy to this baby chick hatching before.

Lord willing we will head back to a incubator full of babies in three more Thursdays.

Oh, an e-mail from the mom of a former student (in tenth grade now ) who wrote to tell me that her son had to write about an event that changed his life and he wrote about his fourth and fifth grade teacher- me. So sweet.

I love me some blue sky days.

It's Electric

My sweet son-in-law forwards me sites he thinks I might find interesting. A standard in fourth grade is about electricity. I knew when I read about Squishy Circuits, I would have to do it with my students. I have always had them build a circuit board, and the custodian at work graciously aids them in getting it done. But it's mostly putting it together, there's not much room for messing around with it. Enter Squishy Circuits-awesome. I ordered the battery packs, lights etc and they kindly sent me extras. So, I practiced on my mostest favorite experimenters.

Let's just say it is way cool.

First, you make two types of playdough. The first we made with salt, because salt will conduct the electricity.

I divided the dough in the recipe in half and Bean kneaded his choice of green food coloring and Bugg pink, into their dough. Next, we made a different batch of dough with sugar to serve as an insulator.

Here, they stuck the battery terminals into two blobs of conductive dough, separated by the insulating dough, and lit up there bulbs!

There was a lot of trial and error about how it all worked, but with Pap's help, we finally got it all going. Before that, Bugg asked could she just play with the dough, but I encouraged her to persevere.

This is Bean's fierce bear, which he made growl with the buzzer.

Once Miss Bugg figured out how to make shapes, light lights, run motors and sound buzzers, she was all over it. Ceece and 1st. Lt. were impressed with their little scientists. I was grateful to have a better grasp of how it all worked before trying it with 24 students- good times.

Other times, well. Sister SuZQ and I headed to Pete's last night to help him sort through Kaye's things. Ahh, sad. So many memories. Handy Man came along and David was there. Later another niece followed. There was much to do so it was busy and that helped. Still, strange and heart breaking.

The cousin I mentioned early received more sad news today. Cancer, cancer everywhere. I'll be praying that every day he has is sweet and precious to him and those who love him. His name is Randy if you want to be praying too.

Good Grief!

Is there any good grief? I don't know. Pete wanted me to come by and try on some things.

It is very awkward, rifling through someone's else's things. Seems a bit like an invasion.

It does open lots of opportunities for remembering, talking, crying.

I gave him a book a friend gave me. Well, I bought him a new one, as I loaned mine out so often it finally disappeared. He's reading it now, A Grace Disguised. I think he's doing as well as anyone can under such circumstances.

We talked again through all the events of that last day and the days before. Ahhh, me.

It was poop-pie night and I was glad to see Bean and Bugg. I stopped by the store to pick up some Crisco before I fetched them. I forgot it last week, and couldn't make our blessing gems on New Year's. I use Crisco for donuts and Chi Mi Changas (prepared maybe two or three times a year, tops), not a product I keep around anymore. They enjoyed them as much for an after dinner treat as a breakfast one.

They are big into ghosts at the moment for some reason and brought up being scared at night.

I shared my remedy of just saying, "Jesus," over and over when my sleep is troubled. We talked about where people are when they are gone and I shared with them the Jewish thought of loved ones being a star that looks down on us as we go on. Bean said that was an Indian belief as well.

We ended the evening with a bit more of the Hobbit and a picture bbok for Missy Bugg.

I was out of the classroom today due to a couple of appointments. Gardener E. continued with the knitting I started on Wednesday. She e-mailed me that she still had all of her hair, and they had theirs as well, so it's all good.

Weeeeeee, Presents

What is it Pappy?

Look Gramerly, I love it. Pappy did a good job.

As I commented yesterday, the Bugg and Bean were here elving. Bean was busy twisting up a beautiful holly wreath with berries.

Bugg, complete with tiara and fancy jewels from Ol' Betsey, worked on a Christmas tree with red ornaments.

Ahhh, this fancy frame and artistic rendering of the first Christmas by Mr. Bean almost got "accidently" left at Gramerly's-forever. Baby Jesus, the big star and a wee lambie. Oh, squeeze my heart.

My friends and family will waste no time in telling you, usually in somewhat of a disgusted tone, that I am hard to buy for. I don't mean to be hard to buy for, it's just, well, I don't know. I wear pins, that's about it. Never will a fine jewel be on my Christmas list. Now, I'd like a cow, really. But then that would necessitate someone to take care of it, a shed to put her in, a fence. I love books, and Handy Man is ever thankful for the library as he claims there is no way he could ever keep me in books as fast as I read. I don't wear much make-up. I had a massage once and hated it. I don't watch TV. Cleaning chicken and bunny coops, along with all the glue, glitter, and paint, don't mix well with manicures. So again, I don't mean to be difficult.

Well, my girls nailed it this year. Below is a pin I received from Rae-rae and Gwen. I love it. It is as me as there ever will be in the form of jewelry.

And then Ceece found a way to give me something I so needed- knowledge of Kaye's value to me and the yearning that my Christmas would include her somehow. This little remembrance has brought me some much needed comfort.

In Kaye's eulogy, I mentioned that she was the person who took me to my first theatre experience to see The Jungle Book. It remains my favorite Disney flick.

Ceece also gave me the hard back copy of The Jungle Book with this picture inside, taken on Christmas Eve.

So, tomorrow is the day to fill with busyness. It would have been a day to spend with Kaye getting ready for her traditional Christmas Eve dinner. Pete and Ol' Mother Hubbard have rented a cabin to put a little distance and scenery change on Christmases Past. I hope it helps.

Hope your elving is nearly complete.

Well it is done. All done.

I walk a fine line between

gratefulness- no more surgeries, sticks, infections, meds, or dialysis,

sadness- she is so very gone and her huge presence in my life can do nothing but leave a gigantic hole in my daily living by it's absence, and lastly

brokeness- all of her pain, confusion, limitedness that I could do nothing about.

My heart's desire is that I will see the day when gratefulness wins, but today is not that day. I can't rest because the hurtful parts float to the surface and drown me in tears. Yet, I can't accomplish anything because I can't put two thoughts together without a painful memory interrupting me. I can't turn my work over to someone else because I've never learned how. I feel useless and drifting in this grief sea.

Ol' Mother Hubbard did an amazing making the situation all it could be.

Our pastor friends, all three of them, who came to the hospital, funeral home, led, spoke, prayed, could have done not a thing more to show their love and support of our family.

A pastor friend who sang her most favorite songs would have brought a huge smile to her face.

She loved flowers and they were so very beautiful.

The many friends who worked for days to organize and keep this big group fed were amazing.

The special ones who hung around the whole entire time, just to show support-such love.

A fountain coke on the morning of, a special CD for the long drive to the cemetery, copies of pictures of our family in happier times to pass around, a warm dinner and pretty flowers delivered to my house. Even cooking seems more than I can manage.

Little curly tops who fold into their Gramerly with a squeeze comforts like nothing I know.

A sibling who expects and embraces an hysterical moment.

Kind words when you've tried so hard to impress your love of her and value through a eulogy.

A classroom of fourth graders, their parents and a school community who rallies round and sends love swirling in a sea of hugs, notes, gift cards, visits, plants and work.

The friends who knew her value to me and acknowledged it in a visit, or card or phone call.

Cousins who came from near and far.

For the rain holding off.

For the hairdresser/family/friend who knows the importance to me of February hair on this day.

For my handy man, who quietly in strength, stands by my side and rides these waves of grief like it is his job.

The Word, where I find comfort.

Each and everything precious and treasured in my broken heart.

And so, perhaps another last, a post, wearing the label "Kaye." So sad.

Reflecting

Kaye was admitted to the hospital last week with an infection at the last surgical site on her right foot. That required a surgery and IV antibiotics. All sites above the waist were no longer functioning for such purpose, so a line was placed in her groin. In addition to being uncomfortable, she was not able to get up, even to sit in a chair. Now, the left foot was presenting problems, so an intervention (angioplasty to increase blood flow to the foot, another surgery) was scheduled for Friday at noon. The doc was called away on an emergency, so changed it to Monday. I went on Saturday to take her lunch and spend the afternoon. We had a good visit. As usual, she wanted to know what I'd been doing, then went through Handy Man and each kid, their spouse and their kids, and I filled her in on everyone. It was bittersweet to me. I had felt very, well I don't know, but just sensed our time was short. Usually, in her presence I try to be very upbeat about her recovery. On Saturday, I cried and told her how it broke my heart each time something hurt her and how very sad I was that we couldn't make her better. She just sadly nodded and told me she loved me. I can only say that it seemed to me the light had gone out of her eyes.

She went to surgery Monday afternoon and after surgery, things went south. Pete got to go back with her for a bit between surgeries, and she told him she was dying and to call the children. Apparently, in surgery, something was nicked and she was bleeding internally. I was there for the second surgery. The surgeon's report sounded vague- the bleeding had stopped, they do this all the time, they don't what went wrong, they couldn't find the source of the bleeding, he thought he'd stabilized her, maybe. Then the Rocky Horror Picture Show when they came out and told us they had put her on a respirator. Hmmm, that was not one of my finer moments. As best I can recall, that was about 11 something. She died at 3:30.

I would not bring her back here to face thirty seconds more of what her life had become, but I will miss her so. She was precious to me.

Elinda Kaye Howard

Newcomers Funeral Home Grantline Rd

Sunday 2-8

First Assembly of God Church

9-11 Funeral at 11 Burial in Brandenburg KY

Thank you for the many thoughts and prayers for our family

Fly Away Home Princess Sweetie

Ever so slowly the shade's been drawn,
Removing the dusk, revealing the dawn,
Of a day without pain, heartache or fears,
Though on our side, sorrow and tears.

But who would withhold the splendor and grace,
Forever with Jesus, face to face,
Leaving behind that which is worn,
Into perfection, your new life is born.

So fly away home precious sister of mine,
Pete's Princess Sweetie, now is the time,
To say, "Goodbye" to the person we've known,
But your love will live on in the seeds you have sown.

The children you've loved, the gifts you've given,
Will grow and spread on this side of heaven,
A legacy of caring, a garden display,
Leaving a mark that is uniquely Kaye,

You've slipped out of our grasp, but in our hearts you are near,
We will never forget, you'll always be here,
We remember your smile and your tender touch,
Wife, mother, daughter, sister and friend,
We love you so much.

Rest now in Jesus.

Bunny Drama

There's a bunny mystery afoot. Because I have the largest class at our little school, and due to my rather bohemian style of teaching, I use two classrooms. Most of the day is spent in one room, while art activities, etc. go on in the other room. The bunnies spend Monday through Thursday in that room. They have a cage big enough to hop around a bit and stretch out when they're tired. There is also one of those yard pens that surround the cage. In the mornings, the students on bunny patrol feed the boys and let them out into the pen where they can hop about, up and down, in and out of their cage and a shoebox. On top of the cage sits the small blue carrier that I use to transport them to and from school. Are you still with me?

Okay, good.

Anyway, I do literacy groups all afternoon with fourth and fifth grade and they rotate through learning zones in and out of that room. After school, one of my kids asked me why Merry was in the carrier. Well, I assumed someone bumped the cage, knocking the carrier in the pen and Merry was hopping in and out of it. Imagine my dismay, and fury when I went in to return to them to their cage for the evening to find Merry zipped in that carrier, sitting on top of the cage. Someone took him out of the pen, put him in the carrier and sat him on top with no food or water. The last time I was in the room was at 8:50 when the students let them out and fed them, so it happened after that and before 12:50 when my instructional assistant was with my kids in the room. It was so one of those weird twilight zone feelings. Who was in the room? Who took it upon themselves to chase, grab, enclose the bunny and leave him on the cage like that? Did the guilty party think that was funny? They either knew how to handle a bunny, or they are likely very scratched up as Merry does not take to being picked up. Ahhhhh! It makes me so mad!

Well, speaking of bunnies, the last leg of their tour took me to Miss Antebellie and Miss Linee's preschool. I decided to use Knuffle Bunny in their class as well. The activities I used with Bean's class would have been too challenging for three and four year olds. So, since the story revolves around Trixie's bunny being accidentally put in the washer, I made an activity to allow them to retell the story.

A washing machine.

Next, each child chose a wardrobe and a bunny to color.

Then they put their clothes in the washer to hide the bunny. Of course, like Trixie, they found and saved the bunny.

A little pocket on the back to keep clothes and bunny in when not telling the story.

They were sweet and enjoyed the story, patting the bunny and having a cookie. It was a busy day and both the bunny boys and I needed a nap when we were done.

Kaye is having some drama of her own. She is back in the hospital as the last surgery is not healing and she is in a lot of pain with both legs. They went back in last night (uh, at 11pm) to clean it up, then followed immediately with dialysis, after which she had a seizure (that would have been about 4:30 am). So she and Aunt SuZQ had an eventful night. She now has to have a roto-rooter surgery on the left leg. Friends, it's awful and that's all. Keep praying.

Evening Update

It's after eight. Kaye got out of surgery at 7 pm. The doc said it was obvious there was poor oxygen flow to the toe, however they just took the toe. Pete was sicker than a dog all day and it broke my heart to leave them. I didn't know he was sick. I was just there last night and he didn't mention feeling bad. It's hard to just not show up at school without warning and expect someone to take over without notes or anything, but I would have liked to stay and let him go home. They had put a local in her foot, so I told him as soon as she was settled they both needed to try and get a nap before it wore off.

Of course, it was necessary to do the oxygen monitor dance, like we've done now for two and a half years.

Um, the monitor isn't reading for some reason.

Umm, it never does, she has a disease that doesn't allow for great circulation in her finger, move it.

Arggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Thanks for the prayers and good thoughts.

Is it a Scam?

Recently I've been introduced to two miracle cures. It is so interesting to me that I would come across information on both of these products around the same time. One is called ASEA and the other MMS. Both have loyal followers who claim amazing results from the use of these products. Both have detractors that accuse ASEA of being simply salt water and MMS bleach. Hmm.

I know there are greedy folk out there who will do absolutely anything to make a buck, including preying on desperate people. Still, if I were in pain, or given a horrible diagnosis, I'd try it.

It's interesting to me, cause when chemo fails, no one says the treatment was a scam. Same for fertility drugs. Tylenol doesn't usually do much for my headaches so is Tylenol a scam? I use Crest faithfully, in addition to mouthwash, but the cavities keep on coming. Is toothpaste a scam? Another friend completely believes in the benefits of Juice Plus products, while information can be found negating the company's claims.

I read somewhere about the accidental discovery of xylitol, first used for sugarless gum, having other properties and now being used as a wash for the sinuses, as it doesn't let those wee nasty things we breathe in set up camp and colonize. Yee haw. I live in an environment where bigger wee folk are bringing me every manner of germ to inhale on a daily basis. I use that xylitol spray morning and evening, and it has cut my sinus infections, colds, flu, etc by more than half. I think I've only had something like that twice in two years and both cases were mild. I tell people. They don't use it.

I think we are complicated. Clearly, a miracle for one, isn't for another.

Is it possible that these miracle cures do the the trick for some, and not for others? Could it have anything to do with the way it's used, or the consistency of use?

I will say, I don't know. I do know some people I trust say it works, and I believe they are telling me the truth.

What say you?

Speaking of miracles, Kaye heads back to surgery tomorrow and Pete's hoping for just the toe to go, as opposed to a good portion of the foot. She could use a miracle and your prayers are always appreciated.

3 Weeks In

I made a commitment to working hard to have one bean, one egg and one seafood meal each week. I didn't necessarily think it had to be in a row, it just worked out that way this week. So far, we're doing good. Sunday was a mushroom and swiss frittata, Monday baked fish, and tonight we enjoyed bean and cheese quesadillas. If I keep at this too long Handy Man will get crotchety and feverish, so tomorrow night, meat is back on the menu.

Kaye is probably headed home after restoring some blood lost yesterday. For now the decision is to send her back for the oxygen treatment for two more weeks and make further decisions. after that. I don't exactly get that when there is no circulation below the knee. Hello, where is the oxygen going to go? What I do know is I'm relieved. I am not in denial. I knew when the first surgery had to happen that short of a Red Sea miracle we were headed down a long and painful road to the end. They can't cure her, they can't even keep her where she is, and I am fully aware of the reality of this situation. But for today, I am grateful that we have two week reprieve. Thank you Jesus.

Pictureless Post

No pictures to match my words this week. You will have to use your imagination.

I hadn't seen Bugg and Bean for a couple of weeks before this past Thursday. My class work is a bit overwhelming this year, so I'd hardly had time to miss them. By Thursday though I was happy to be picking them up.

Bean seems happy in his school situation, which thrills me.

I sensed a bit of disappointment in Bugg. She has always gone to daycare where she is now going to Pre-K. I wonder if it just wasn't the difference she was expecting from regular daycare. She's a bright little cookie and whereas Bean was a year younger than most of his classmates, she's the older one with a September birthday.

It is hard work deciding which Gramerly house things to do when we just have a very few hours, not like the full days of summer.

So we played a memory game, baked an applesauce cake, picked flowers and built our own tacos.

We taste tested all parts of the cake mixing and discovered flour is blah, sugar is dee-wish-us, applesauce yummy, and vanilla paste, though divine in sniffing, lacks something on the tongue.

Bean helped me cut flowers in the garden.

When I was a little girl, I loved picking flowers, but never seemed to be where picking flowers was an acceptable practice. I didn't want to discourage him from cutting all the ones he found perfect, so I ended up with way more cut flowers than needed for Ms. Glitzy shower. So, he took flowers for his teacher and I made additional bouquets for Kaye and Mom.

Then he wanted to cut the corn stalks and build an indian house. Be still my heart! I think there is a side of me I try to keep hidden that keeps peeping at him, wondering when his great imagination will begin to taper, when video games or other such pointless engagement will replace his love for the outdoors, pretend and great books. That peeping Gramerly sighs and smiles and wonders how those corn stalks can make a house.

My Missy Bugg, she still loves games and puzzles and I love how a little memory card game teaches her about Bible characters while she laughs the dearest laugh each time she makes a match.

Time with them is always a healing balm after Kaye visits.

God gifts us so many ways. I was not gifted with being in the presence of suffering. Hats off to kind, caring docs and nurses and to that man of hers who has gone where no one wishes to go.

She will lose at least her big toe. Monday they will roto-root that leg again and then do further tests to determine how far down oxygen has gone, before making a decision about how much to take.

They believed the antibiotics had checked the infection, but then she spiked a temp again Friday. She got a picc line since there wasn't much place left to poke her. She is black and blue.

Now the steroids have her sugar over the moon. Of course antibiotics mean yeast infections, upset stomach etc. So we visited a while yesterday morning, then I returned last evening with supper and a coconut cream tart. Now and again, she looks at me and makes some remark like yesterday, "You are so sweet." For a minute, I feel six again and she's the big 1 7 year old sister. A moment-then I realize that now she's my baby and I'm the big sister and the pain I feel is physical. Not because I don't want to do what I do. I want to, but more I wish, for her sake, there was no need.

So thankful for the joy of gramerlings.

I'm trying out some new to me digital scrapbooking technology. When I review it, I'll have one to give away, so stay tuned if you are interested.

Dear Me

Saturday, whilst trying to make sweet with baby Gideon, some gigantic beastie flew out of the yard, right past the window to the kitchen roof. We ran out to see. It was this huge hawk. The chickie girls were strangely absent, though caterwauling to beat the band. Thankfully no chickie girl was shrieking from said beastie talons necessitating me breaking my neck trying to climb a roof or tree to save a terrified girl. When we saw him spread his mighty wings and fly off into the wide blue yonder, we went back to sweet talking the baby. Later, quite a bit later, when Rae-rae was leaving Handy Man laughingly called me to the porch where he found seven hens huddled under a chair- still. They must have really been scared. I've experienced hawks flying over, but never had one come into the yard. My fearless guard dog had escaped and was being fattened at the neighbors.

I think upbeat posts are lots more fun, but I have to admit I'm feeling anything but upbeat. I just haven't adjusted to "back to work" yet. I have almost three times the students I had last year and I leave everyday feeling like there was just not enough of me to go around. Really scary since let's be honest here, there is a lot of me. I've never been a "read the text, answer the questions at the end" kind of teacher. If they miss something, then I think we need to figure out why, not just give a bad grade and move-on. I've always been able to manage, but I don't feel like I'm doing a very hot job this year. I typically go in at seven, come home at six, still with work undone.

Today I left early. Kaye is in the hospital again. When I walked in she started telling me about her afternoon, tearfully. In this long journey (two and half years now), there have been less than a handful of times where she's been left to deal with tests on her own. Pete had a dentist appointment and basically they came and got her and she was out of her room in tests all afternoon. They had to do a Doppler test and MRI on her foot. The first test was fine she said, but the second test didn't go well and she felt someone was mean to her because somehow she wasn't doing what they wanted. I just don't even know how to express the despair and broken heartedness I feel for her. She's there because likely there is gangrene in her foot, along with her usual host of other things. I simply cannot grasp that a person with enough intelligence to use an MRI can't see they are dealing with a brain injured person, who cannot communicate clearly and doesn't always understand directions. Why the hell do they have charts if people can't read them and respond appropriately. I was furious.

I asked the nurse to please find out where she was and what happened. The records showed that the first test went fine, just like Kaye told me, and the next test couldn't be completed because the patient wouldn't cooperate. Perhaps the giver of that test wouldn't be very cooperative when their painful toe that is rotting off was being messed with. I was very polite, as it wasn't those nurses fault, but expressed my dismay and requested that it be investigated further. I reminded them that when she is anxious, it is to be treated before continuing with testing. Kaye felt vindicated that I had gone to bat for her.

I can't help but think of all the poor people who don't have a Pete or sisters who love them and try to take care of them.

So, prayers for my Kaye are appreciated, as always.

All Things Kaye

I have not posted on Kaye in a good bit. Not because there isn't a lot always happening, but because there has not been a high crisis situation. When there isn't a crisis, I get a lot of my information second or third hand, so I'm always a little unsure what's what. Since I'm off, I'm able to go once a week again on a regular basis.

Pete was successful in getting the new type of dialysis at home and she seems to be handling that pretty well.

Her circulation continues to be a problem. She had a toe removed a few weeks ago, then a nail and now there is a new problem. At first, it appeared they would be removing more of the foot. Now, it seems that the vascular surgeon would like to try an oxygen chamber, where she'll have to be by herself for two hours daily for a month. She flatly refused.

As anyone would be, she is most weary. I don't have the ability to convey the sadness I feel for her and for Pete as they just put out one fire and another pops up. Pete doesn't want any part of her taken off, but when it's causing pain and risking horrible infection, something has to be done. But to have to be hooked up to dialysis multiple days and week, and then think of another daily procedure-have mercy. She can be very, very difficult when she doesn't feel well, and bless her heart, she mostly doesn't feel well.

So, she and Pete are happy recipients of your loving prayers.

Also, so many needs today. Two friends are hospitalized in Indy, Big D and Papa Bear, for cancer treatment. I'm headed up there today to give their wifeys a hug. In addition, a little baby several weeks early due to Mama's rough road with toxemia. We'll keep praying on.

A Happy Accident and Innocence

Several years back, Ol' Mother Hubbard and I took the poopies to Wendy's for lunch. The kidlet meal surprise was an audio of Mary Pope Osbourne's book, Dolphins at Daybreak. Bean was only about three and the Magic Treehouse books are third grade chapter books, so I didn't think it would be of much interest to him- wrong!

I put it in the CD player in the car, and low and behold, he was smitten-at three. Since then I've bought numerous audios of Miss Mary's and he loves each one better than the last.

If you haven't heard of them, they are books about two young children, Jack and Annie, who travel through time, via this magical treehouse. All the history, or information about people and places is true. He learns a lot through these CD's. Now, at the ripe old age of six, he's reading the chapter books on his own.

Though he loves to hear those stories and asks for them in the car, and loves to read the books and seems to pack one around with him all the time, he still wants to hear my stories.

Today when I picked him up from Playplace, he said, "It's pretty today, so as soon as we get home can you push me in the swing?"

"Sure, I will."

Of course, before I started pushing came the next request. "Can you tell me a story?"

"Sure, pick five characters." He wants to tell me all the little details of the story, including all the people he wants to show up. This can run into more folk then I can keep up with, so I've learned to set some limits.

Jack, Annie, Bean, Morgan and Oliver were to be in this tale and it was to take place during the American Revolution.

Not only does Bean want to pick the characters, but he wants them to stay "in character" as he views them. Gee whiz, this is work.

Anyway, I guess I inadvertently expressed some boldness in our Magic Treehouse boy Jack, and was quickly corrected and reminded that Annie is the bold one and Jack is the timid, scaredy cat.

So, to the innocence alluded to in the title. The next time Jack came up in the story, they were in the deep dark woods with a little patriot named Oliver, who was hiding and waiting for Paul Revere to show up and exchange his horse for a fresh one. Bean suggests that something's gone wrong with ol' Paul and they should take the horse and go after him. Remembering Jack's nature, I quickly had Jack tell Bean that it wouldn't be a good idea, and it was best to continue waiting.

The realtime Bean chirped in, "See, I told you he was scared of everything."

I don't know. I just thought that was so sweet that he obviously thought Jack's personality expressed itself in the story, with no help from the teller.

Hmm, I'm rambling.

I got a surprise phone call tonight. Pete was calling me because Kaye wanted to talk to me. Unbeknownst to me, she had surgery this morning and they amputated her toe. She cried when she told me. I feel sort of sick and out of sorts. Hence, the story above. Just trying to find my joy here.

Corduroy

Tonight while Bean was visiting, I pulled out his homework and found an old faithful friend,

Corduroy. I love that book. Being as young a first grader as he is, I was quite impressed with his fluency. He was only tripped up by "accident" and "palace." Though it is a children's book, there are many multi-syllabic words and he didn't even slow down.

It brought back memories of the many years I did the speech contest at the elementary school. Rae-rae did that book in first grade or second grade I think. She probably won, she did most years.

Due to President's Day, Bean is back on his Revolutionary and Civil War kick. How fortuitous that I had just purchased two CD's for him. One was American History stories about different wars, the first story being about Paul Revere and the second CD was all about Ol' Abe. That child is the best listener. I stuck the CD in the computer after we had discussed both wars, in addition to the War of 1812, all through supper. Supper takes a while when you have to stop and sing "The Battle of New Orleans" through several times. Miss Bugg loves that song as well. He sat quietly, simply absorbed in the story.

Never fear, while Bean was riding through Boston, Bugg was enthralled with a CD about princesses, in the playroom. Of course she had her dolls to act out what she was hearing. I love watching them learn and play and pretend. What a joy!

Kaye has thankfully averted another crisis and a better type of dialysis should be in place next Monday. Meanwhile a good friend and pastor, Steve, is fighting a ferocious infection and needs our prayers. As well, our little Gideon, who is not yet taking the hint that he needs to turn his wee self around to make his exit into this world, needs to do just that. Thanks for your prayers.

Baby Showers

Today I have a baby shower on the agenda. Along with the invitation came a notice of registry. I am a registry adherent. There is such unbelievable variety in what is out there, so I it just makes sense to get what the person wants.

Today, I didn't.

Babies and books just seem to go hand in hand for me. I daily see the difference in children who have been read to and talked to at length. There are a million books out there these days. Aren't we blessed? There are a few though (um, actually a few dozen), that I think no book reading mommy and future book loving baby should be without. It's painful for me to cut it down to just a few, but I managed.

I Kissed the Baby by Mary Murphy has such bold, contrasting pictures that babies love looking at it. I use my best quacking voice when I read, and the affect are those deep, belly laughs that are such sweet music to a Gramerly's ear. We delight in giving endless smooches to our babies, so it seems a perfect choice.

Wild Child by Lynn Pourde, is another favorite. I read this book to my Gramerlings, my fourth graders and my college students. Kids lives are so totally full these days. It is rush to this and rush to that. I love the notion of opportunities for them to live in the moment, carefree for a time. This book has wonderful illustrations and interesting vocabulary. It's quick and easy and great for making connections.

The Water Hole by Graeme Base is another that I use in a plethora of ways and that children love. You could spend a good deal of time just looking at one illustration and talking about it. It's a fabulous book for onomatopoeia, habitats, water cycle, conservation and my absolute favorite counting book.

Again, choosing from so many "favorites" is challenging, but this is a good start for a first library I think.

Kaye is home, not feeling well, but home. The UTI is thankfully not a stubborn variety. The dry weight Pete had for her going into dialysis was wrong, therefore he wasn't taking off enough water. Hopefully, that is easily remedied. She has another black toe tip and they roto-rooted her artery again in hopes of encouraging blood flow and healing. Bless their hearts.

Update on Kaye

A different type of dialysis was used that took off a lot of water and made breathing easier. Pete is checking into how to do a better dialysis at home. A never ending roll of red tape to slog through. She is responsive, but weak. Still no word on uti type. A change in meds for the heart, as she can't handle much else. Thanks for your prayers.

Prayer Time

Kaye had a heart attack last night at 11:00, of the congestive heart failure type. Her lungs are filled with fluid and she has another UTI. Thank you for prayers that the Lord will be merciful.

For Unto Us a Child is Born

For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. Isaiah 9:6

I call Him Jesus, and seek to honor Him in my heart as if everyday was His birthday!

Each year, as I shop, it bothers me more and more how few things reflect the source of my Christmas celebration. I made my own cards this year. I didn't know how much longer the kids would be willing players in my Christmas card scheme. To range in age from seven weeks to 6 years, they were very cooperative.

By beautiful blue eyed newest boy.


His equally beautiful blue-eyed sister.
Who can resist chubby cherub hands from my precious red head.

Bean loves me, but he loves this lamb more. He wanted a picture of lambie in the manger.

Wishing you a blessed Christmas!

Kaye- As I noted yesterday, Thursday evening was day four of Kaye being terribly sick after dialysis. We changed her Christmas dinner to noon, yesterday. We had no sooner got there with all the food and all the gifts and her four grandkids, when the kidney doc came in and said since they couldn't figure out the problem, they would just start eliminating possibilities. So, though they could grow nothing out of port (bacteria), they were still going to replace it and it had to be done right now! We asked could we have an hour since we were all there to do her Christmas. "No, it has to be done now." Well, I guess Ol' Mother Hubbard and I get an "A" for effort. The procedure went fine and I pray that this will relieve her post dialysis agony.

I had big plans to visit someone very special to me as a surprise for Christmas Day, but have fretted about the weather putting a stop to my plans all week. Well, it doesn't look to bad, so I'm off. Let's hope and pray this goes better than my attempts at having Christmas with Kaye.

Thanks for your continued prayers.

Christ's Peace and Love to all this Christmas!