Tipping Point

 I have one. Some folks who spend a lot of time here might be surprised to know that.  So my Black Friday is indeed kind of dark, because I have such a great distaste for sorting and deciding what to part with. No way could I put a Christmas thing up in this mess.  First, was to get all the Advent boxes and decorations filled and ready to ship out.  That takes up half the living room.  Next, I parted with all baby and toddler food/drink paraphernalia,  whaaaaaaaaaaa!  Another box of stuff for the thrift store,  and moving and wiping and swiping this morning away.  Handy Man fixed an old battleship game Giddy-up found and sorted through the binder of appliance booklets.  

But, yesterday, in light of our current pandemic, was lovely.

Rae had everything decorated up for an outside affair,  and though our group was small by comparison to previous years, it was perfect- a little chilly, but bearable. 

I always have Rae's guys out the night before Thanksgiving to give her a calm before the storm and to make treats with the most holiday loving boy in the world. 

This little mister wandered into Rae's yard and decided to stay.

A special visit from ObiWan.

Ceece has sure had a rough month. Glad she was able to smile a while. 

Thankful for my little family, but I am always a bit melancholy, missing siblings, and in every corner I've turned over today, I've found my Mom and Kaye and Glenda.  Think I'll try my hand at Mom's pound cake this Christmas.  

Jimi sadly had a another bad spell with high ammonia levels on Wednesday. He couldn't be admitted to his usual hospital due to a water main break.  He had to be treated in the next county with no one who knows him or his records.  No visitors till his Covid test comes back.  Poor guy.  Hopefully, they'll get that ammonia out and move him to a different floor and I can take him some Thanksgiving goodies. 

Well, suppose I better get back to pitching while I have an ounce of energy left. 

Oh November

 I'm afraid someone else's pain- Ceece and Bean and Bugg, have been a distraction from my own grief.  I told Ceece maybe we could just head out of town for this week from now on, to cry or laugh or do whatever feels right, as we remember those we've loved and lost.

I have wondered so very many times since March how we could've handled this pandemic with Mom in Assisted Living. It would have just been all kinds of horrible.  In the three years she was there I believe there was a snowstorm that prevented us from coming one day.  Otherwise, there was never a day she didn't see one of her people. I think of how miserable doctors, insurance companies, or whoever  it was responsible, made her life and ours even more hellish by insisting she had to be seen every fifteen minutes, even though they were treating the same thing over and over.  Those long drawn out appointments were so hard on her.  Now, oh, just do it over the phone or whatever.  

Two years, but still, she's never far from my mind. This week began Jimi's decline.  I think he's less than half this size now.

But life goes on doesn't it.  Love goes on. Joy comes in all kinds of ways. So  I cooked this weekend. When in doubt of how to comfort, I cook. Everyone's favorite, bread and cinnamon rolls, stroganoff for Bean and Bugg, chicken and dumplings for Ceece.  With my kiddos ages, it isn't easy to  find an activity they all enjoy.  Some woven baskets intrigued a few, a gift of some old tools intrigued my tool loving boy and popcorn and The Lord of the Rings and another gallon of tea,  kept Bean stationary for awhile, so Sunday was a good day.  

Pap has made something in the tool shop with most of the kids. A candle holder never fails to be a good choice.

We're still in school. Three teachers and classes are out, but we press on.  I've been reading a fascinating  book recommended by a friend- Fearfully and Wonderfully Made by Dr. Paul Brand. Glad to have it since my library holds are not showing up at the moment. 

Keep Ceece and her people in your prayers the next couple of days. 

Reflections

 This Veteran's Day was certainly different than the way I've spent the last sixteen years -up to my elbows in cinnamon rolls, biscuits and gravy, students and Veterans. Instead, we had a faculty meeting yesterday afternoon.  I was reflecting on these past years.  I started the Veteran's Day Breakfast as a way to honor Veterans and  way to really allow my fourth and then fifth graders a very hands on service opportunity.  

I really enjoyed having my kiddo, who has been promoted from Captain to Major this past week be a part.  He would come into  my room and share stories.

After I did a Veteran's Day on the heels of Kaye's death, and then when Adam was in Afghanistan,

then when I was still so spent from a food poisoning incident that I had to sit on a stool to cook, and two years ago, when I went into cook and left to go straight to the hospital, where we'd been kicked out and into a terrible hospice situation with my Mom, I sort of half dreaded this time of year.

Still.  We talked after our faculty meeting about this virus has so divided us.  Every year I had these elderly gentlemen express to me how they had never felt so loved and appreciated. 

This year we couldn't even find a place to accept the kids cards and letters.

I was anxious too, for my girl Ceece, spending her last moments with her Mom before she breathed her last this morning. I got up in the night to check my phone and my social media. Of course, I had not a minutes trouble putting myself right back into those last day situations with my people. Oh my, so hard. I know full well the vastness of grief and how hard it is to find comfort. 

Then, this virus seems to have exploded in Indiana and we currently have three classes quarantined. That tension is just ever present. Should we stay, should we go.

And Uncle Jimi. He wasn't able to come out Sunday and he isn't returning my texts, which is always  an indicator of how bad he feels and weak he is.  I worry about seeing him inside, due to my likelihood of Covid exposure.

Same with my sis Tish. She is still hobbling and I'm worried about exposing her as well. 

So, I'm just not the happiest girl in world in this season.

Hmm, Guess I Only Thought About Blogging

 Well, it has been a minute. I thought I had blogged about Halloween at Ol' Mother Hubbard's, but I guess not.

So let's go back to  the Saturday before Halloween. It was cool, but we managed to have a big time all the same. 

Umm, so why do they look like adults?  No.

I found some cool science experiments to do with the kidless.

Mostly we stayed outside, but Uncle Jimi can't tolerate any cold, so I spent some time inside with him. 

This little munchkin was the most impressed by my bag of tricks. 

Well, so that was our big Halloween, a week early I thought.  I was so surprised at our only Trick or Treater, sporting his new driver's license.

He bought himself a new guitar and brought it to show me and pick a few tunes.  I made the tea I've been fixing him since he was not yet two.  Best Halloween Ever!!

You know I'm the queen of Courier and Ives dreaming, where everything is just love, love, love.  I was a little surprised that Bean and Bugg are not so enamored with their little cousins, or maybe with me in this season of their lives.  Their little cousins adore them and I guess I assumed, since it must be lovely being all adored, that they would adore them back. Ahem.   So, I miss them, a lot.  So Bean coming over to see us was a big deal.  He's a working man now  at the Jay C.  

They came back today for Playdate and Bugg played a game with Giddy-Up. I don't get to visit as much during these Covid festivities, or take snaps,  as I am the plate fixer in the kitchen.  I forgot to pass off the camera.  My right hand gal- Aunt Tish, is still laid up with her broken leg, though she at least got to be here today.  Jordan and Lucas brought her.  Jake came, but Uncle Jimi wasn't up to it.  Gardner E. came along with Rae and her family.  And Ceece, Bean and Bugg. 

Per his mom's request, Bean brought these from work. A remembrance of Kaye's anniversary.  Ceece is the absolute best at that.  I got a sweet card from the Handy Man too this morning. I will say I didn't cry about today.  Well, the day isn't over, but I don't usually make it this long.

Yesterday Rae brought me the last of her garden beauties. 

The hatchet is a big deal at Gramerly's. 

I got a gift card to a local nursery when Kaye died.  I bought this little maple. It has never been red like this in autumn. This picture doesn't do it justice.  Like a glowing jewel in the yard. 

Well, in accordance with my Norman Rockwell dreams, Bean stuck around and took the boys to the creek.  Mr. Smiley managed to fill his creek boots with water and was shoeless. He was determined to make himself a new pair and I believe Bean was sure he was going to cut off a body part in the process, so set out to fashion him some designer paper plate shoes. Be still my heart. 

Well, that canopy we erected and my cheap Aldi's tables have held up these seven months and fed a lot of people, entertained a bunch of kidlets.  Thank the Lord for good food to share!

I have no words for how glad I am that this election is over.  It isn't that I don't think the President wields some power, but good grief, the way people carry on astounds and completely depresses me.  This has been such a hateful ol' year.  It has been so strange to just try to be in situations and not say or do anything to set someone off.  Tiresome. 

Still, we've been able to see people in our yard, enjoy so many good songs and church services online and so far keep working. As of Friday there have been 252 confirmed case in our diocese's schools, which is a lot of schools.  One fourth of that number happened in the last week. So Covid is doing its thing in Indiana. So, I will give thanks for God's many blessings.