Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Sleeping Angels

It's late and I should be sleeping, as I have Bible Study in the morning, but just returned from a fun 60th birthday party for my friend-girl Sandy. Always takes me a bit to wind down after laughing hysterically at my crazy friends for a few hours.
Today was a hectic day- Wednesday's Play Date with the Gramerlings. I wanted to get to the funeral home after playdate and before going to the party, but my plans changed with a bit of an unusual occurrence.
More on that later.
Anyway, going back a couple of decades to when I had a toddler and was expecting twins, I remember being absolutely terrified that I would not love the new babies the way I loved my firstborn. I wanted to, but I simply thought it wouldn't be possible. How could you have room in your life for more love than you had already. It was so deep and wide and big and all consuming. Then came the happy day when my hands were full of a little blue bundled boy and a tiny pink swaddled girl and low and behold the love was there- Amazing!
I thought that kind of love was done when my little family was complete with three children.
I was profoundly amazed again to discover I felt that exact same deep and wide and all consuming love for my first grandson. You're kidding, right? This much love for another wee one, again? I was, and am still really quite overwhelmed by the depth of my feelings for that boy.
I am not however a very fast learner, for when hearing that he was going to be a big brother, an immediate panic whirled it's way around my brain asking if was possible that I could love his sister like I loved him. My brain answered, "Not likely honey." Silly ol' brain.
I've been privileged to be a part of several deliveries and was right there when Missy Bugg popped out. She had the most awful, heart wrenching cry I have ever heard. Turns out, that's how babies who's lungs aren't ready breathe and cry. Her teeny five pound self was in need of some help and she had to go the area children's hospital in the NICU. While they readied our wee poopie for transport, 1st Lt. left to get her admitted and I stayed with Ceece. They brought her by on the vent and in an incubator to say goodbye to Mommy. Mercy, what a heart wrenching moment. Bean spent from 3 days old to 3 1/2 weeks old in the NICU for a different reason and here Ceece was again, only she had to stay, while her little girl went. I asked if we had a minute that I could pray for her and the paramedics were really sweet about it. Then I asked if I could see her hair under her cap and sure enough she was a tiniest little redhead-be still my heart. Off our Missy Bugg went, but not for long. A couple of weeks and she was home and guess what? All that love again-Amazing.
So, why didn't I get to what I needed to do today? What was the amazing occurrence? When Bean was a baby he spent one third of his time with us his first two years asleep on Handy Man Pappy's or my chest in the easy chair. We'd fight over who got to give him his bottle and nap.
Not so with the Missy Bugg. She wanted to be put down for naps. You could lie down beside her, but she didn't like sleeping in your arms.
Today, after Ol' Henry, Antebellie, Miss Linee and Baby Boy had gone home and Bean was playing with Pappy, Bugg was playing and tripped over a toy and was crying. I picked her up and started rocking her, and lo and behold, she fell asleep all snuggled up on my shoulder. I was so surprised. Though I wanted to make it to the funeral home today, the very fact that my sweet friend's brother was here on Saturday and is gone today, made me stop and think. I have another chance to go the funeral home tomorrow and my friend-girls will forgive me for being late to the party. My soon to be three year old might never want to nap and rock in her Gramerly's arms again. So that's what I did for an hour and I enjoyed every minute of it.
Again, so thankful for this chance, so thankful for this great love that keeps on growing as I keep on being blessed with precious littlest bits that make huge impressions on my heart.
Pictures tomorrow.

*edited by Ceece(little red haired baby)*
Lillian 9.25-9.28 050.jpg

1 comment:

  1. wow! Someone has switched out our Miss Bug! Camping this weekend she took a nap in Oma's lap too.

    Glad it was a good day and can't wait to see some pictures.

    and oh reliving Miss Bug being sent over to Kosairs made me all weepy.