Reflections

 This Veteran's Day was certainly different than the way I've spent the last sixteen years -up to my elbows in cinnamon rolls, biscuits and gravy, students and Veterans. Instead, we had a faculty meeting yesterday afternoon.  I was reflecting on these past years.  I started the Veteran's Day Breakfast as a way to honor Veterans and  way to really allow my fourth and then fifth graders a very hands on service opportunity.  

I really enjoyed having my kiddo, who has been promoted from Captain to Major this past week be a part.  He would come into  my room and share stories.

After I did a Veteran's Day on the heels of Kaye's death, and then when Adam was in Afghanistan,

then when I was still so spent from a food poisoning incident that I had to sit on a stool to cook, and two years ago, when I went into cook and left to go straight to the hospital, where we'd been kicked out and into a terrible hospice situation with my Mom, I sort of half dreaded this time of year.

Still.  We talked after our faculty meeting about this virus has so divided us.  Every year I had these elderly gentlemen express to me how they had never felt so loved and appreciated. 

This year we couldn't even find a place to accept the kids cards and letters.

I was anxious too, for my girl Ceece, spending her last moments with her Mom before she breathed her last this morning. I got up in the night to check my phone and my social media. Of course, I had not a minutes trouble putting myself right back into those last day situations with my people. Oh my, so hard. I know full well the vastness of grief and how hard it is to find comfort. 

Then, this virus seems to have exploded in Indiana and we currently have three classes quarantined. That tension is just ever present. Should we stay, should we go.

And Uncle Jimi. He wasn't able to come out Sunday and he isn't returning my texts, which is always  an indicator of how bad he feels and weak he is.  I worry about seeing him inside, due to my likelihood of Covid exposure.

Same with my sis Tish. She is still hobbling and I'm worried about exposing her as well. 

So, I'm just not the happiest girl in world in this season.