Rainy Saturday

Long as I remember The rain been comin' down.
Clouds of myst'ry pourin' Confusion on the ground.
Good men through the ages, Tryin' to find the sun;
And I wonder, Still I wonder, Who'll stop the rain.

All day long I've wondered about who spends all day out in this deluge?  Seems quite unsafe for horses and jockeys alike.

We picked up Mr. Smiley this morning and headed out on a "tool seeking" adventure.

I asked how he was doing today and he replied, "Totally Awesome."  He is really taken to being five.

Handy Man said he started collecting multiple hammers at the store, but he talked him down to two.  Unfortunately, the birthday boy couldn't talk Pap into a "not very sharp" hatchet.

Mr. Smiley had required a breathing treatment before we left. The boy was wired for sound.  The treatment worked because he could get out about forty words per breath.  Pappy said to tell Rae that the next time he needs recharged, trying using Harbor Freight batteries as opposed to the Energizer Bunny kind. Multiple toys were bypassed and we came home with a rain gauge, red flags, hammers, tie downs and pliers.

Feeling I must be diligent about safety, I reminded him that pliers were not for fingers or toes or any other body part, his, or anyone else's. This was not news to him and he replied, "I can't use pliers on my nose either, or my Mom will bust me."  Well then.   

Oh, and umm baby chicks.

In my classroom, chicks are a big deal.  Over spring break, I put a dozen eggs in the incubator. Nary a one hatched.  I really wasn't sure what I was going to do about it.  When we went in Rural King to search for more tools, we stopped to admire the chickie babies.   I've been torn about what to do.  I knew I couldn't easily manage chicks during surgery and recovery time. I also knew the local places wouldn't have chicks much longer.  Not wanting to deny my students their chicken experience, I bought six, ran over to sporting goods and grabbed a hand warmer to keep them cozy while we finished our shopping and lunch.  I thought I'd surprise Rae, that if surgery time comes, she'll have some new pets.

Yum. Chicken and fries.  This boy loves food, especially things like fries and chips. So  why, Pap inquired, was he eating that dog biscuit first?  I don't know, neither Pap or I got any dog biscuits.

Mr. Smiley found a pair of my sunglasses and took a fancy to them.  He shared with me that since they were clearly too small for me, he would wear them and they fit him fine.  He added, "I will borrow them, but borrow in my language actually means keep." Good to know.

Uncle Pete and Pam beat us home, and brought a meatloaf. 

Strange happenings are so interesting to me.  Just this morning, I had Kaye on my mind. Was thinking about what she would've done in this situation we're in.  I chuckled, thinking about how she would aggravate Pete to call every day and show up every day or two.  Then, here he is.

I was visiting with another friend this week and we got on the subject of indigo.  Perhaps due to my students needing to understand the economic products of the early south, I say "indigo" about a hundred times a  year.  I've often thought I'd like to try dyeing something with it. She leaves, I walk over to the computer and right there on fb Rae has posted about a class given locally about indigo- sign us up.

We had to scoot home to get water and food for the new babies, though our chores weren't finished.  

I believed Handy Man earned a few hours of silence, so left him here to rest, whilst I finished up.

He's had a good supper, a good dose of his sweet, after his equally tool loving heart boy, and now enjoying all those guys we love in the movie Stagecoach, laughing at Willie.

Thank the Lord for a dry, warm home!

I have not been able to keep up my usual visits with Noella and Ivonne. I've just learned he is hospitalized with a high fever. Prayers for our little fire plug.

Puzzling and Creeking

Handy Man didn't have any visitors on the schedule for today, so I came home for lunch.  This cool, rainy noon time was perfect for some Timothy's White Chili.  Yummy.
Rae and crew came this evening.  She brought Handy Man an Easter basket with a 3D puzzle duckling when he was in the hospital. He had been working on it today, but saved the top part for the boys to help.

 Giddy-Up found it a bit challenging, but stayed the course, got the hang of it and before long had it finished.  Pap was impressed.

The minute it is even slightly warm, we all hear the creek calling.  We went down to hang out on the bank, as it is really flowing. I love that sound.   Lots of rock throwing, weed pulling mud slinging, all the things that make the creek a happening place.

Tomorrow Handy Man and I will have Mr. Smiley for his 5th birthday date.

Sometimes all of this seems so strange. It seems there are lots of decisions to be made, but no one gets in a hurry, and how can you make a decision when you don't have idea one how this will roll out.  Sometimes, a minute or two, you forget.  That life vest though brings it all home.  

Another week to wait through.

Away we go.

Come and Listen to a Story......

Drummer Boy is helping clean up the yard and removing items that hold water, lessening the mosquito population.  Bless his heart, he's working hard to be diplomatic and let me have the say in such matters.  Why in the world would anyone want that pitiful piece of plastic attracting biting skeeters in their yard?
Because, everything has a story.

I so know you can't see this gorgeous dumpling as well as you want to. If you click on her picture, she'll be bigger.

When you don't have a tractor, you jump on the next best thing.

A friend passed this along to me when her girls were finished with it. Pap promptly bought a new battery and had it charged before each visit.  Bean and Ol' Henry were two and not quite two when we became the proud owners. They were so little that we had to chase them to keep them from driving into the road or creek. They imagined all sorts of things and it was my joy to watch them pretend to talk on the CB and listen to songs on the radio and fix their truck.  How many miles were put on that little truck, how many memories?  I had no idea how many little drivers would arrive in quick succession. When I look at these pictures I again feel like my heart has been pinched and I marvel at how they could be so big already.

Still, it has more than served its purpose, and I will let it go. Certainly though, in the meantime, it has been quite a conversation starter, as we visit on the front porch,  that mostly ends with someone whistling a tune to the Beverly Hillbillies.  Yep, that would be us.

Today was a happy (as one can be in these dire straits) doctor visit.  The kidney doctor is hand's down the Crown Prince of Doctors.  I was actually glad to go- a heretofore unheard of opinion.  If there were a dictionary entry for perfect doctor specimen, there he would be.  I went in confident he would tell me whatever is happening, no drama, and in all ways be kind.  Add to all that a wait in the office of five minutes, a wait in the examining room for five minutes. Crown Prince, I'm telling ya.

He was glad Handy Man is experiencing no further trouble, no swelling. He explained to him why he continues to have red areas on his legs and what to do about it. He mentioned Handy Man's Jesus branch and left us with this, "I believe there is reason to hope that this can be fixed."  Umm, can I just kiss your face?  While I realize that the good doctor might not appreciate that, he has no way of knowing that I'm not the face kissing kind, and how he just impresses the heck out of me.

A little more spring in Handy Man's step, coming out. 

We had some errands that ended at the Kroger finding some low sodium treats.  I told Handy Man we would have to find a place to hide them from all our little snackers.

Each day Handy Man gets a card or two and so enjoys hearing from everyone.  Another friend called and is bringing some soup.  My sister left a message that said all the right things and then, "blah, blah,blah, " that made us laugh.  

Oh, and there was a message from me. I'm attempting to go back to work some.  I imagine Handy Man gets weary of me standing over the top of him. I'm not finding it an easy thing to do.

I've been thinking a lot of Mom.  I was eleven, Mom in her forties when my Dad had a cerebral hemorrhage. He never drove or worked, in any capacity, ever again.  I have a much clearer understanding of what she must have experienced.  During that time, she went to see the doctor.  She came home and gave the doc's report.  " You are as neurotic as Hell."  I remember being so shocked that a doctor would use a bad word.  I didn't really even understand what neurotic meant.  Well, now I do. The apple doesn't fall from the tree.  I shared with Handy Man that this would never work, me going back to the classroom,  unless he texted me often.  While our phones don't work in the house, they do work in certain places around the house. Go ahead, now you can hum Green Acres.  I told him that since he had to walk every two hours, he could call or text me on his walk.  Well today he texted, I returned a message that needed a response, didn't get one.  Texted again-nothing. Called the landline, no one answered. So right before I'm ready to fly out the door, stomach churning, he texted.    The reason he didn't respond to the one message, he didn't get it until after we'd been to the doctor.  So, color me neurotic.

I was able to leave my class with Gardener E. entertaining them with fun art.  Then another retired teacher friend, Gardener ML,  is faithful to come once a week and hang it all up. Such a blessing.

So, while we wait to see where this is headed, we laugh at every laughable thing, we walk, we talk about hard things neither of us want to talk about,  we pray and are thankful when we wake up each morning,  here in this unexpected story.

Strange Timing Always

Have you ever watched  Major Payne? 
"What we have here is a failure to communicate."
Maybe not my most favorite line from there, but a good one.
Trying to navigate this specialist system is just not as fun as let's say a corn maze, or a root canal for that matter.
So the surgeon's office was responsible for scheduling the Cardiac MRI. The surgeon told me last Wednesday that it would happen in  seven to ten days. 
Big Cat Daddy is the cardiologist and he specializes in having a nurse practitioner who is my teaching partner's friend and is about to  become my BFF. I'll just call her AngelCakes.  Big Cat Daddy is in charge of determining the blood thinner, but the Primary Person is in charge of seeing it through the insurance hoops.  Are you still with me?
So, by my recollection, which may or may not be trusted, it is day seven since the surgeon's message with no MRI date on my special, bought just for Handy Man, Psalms ( well that might have been for me) calendar.   So I look up the number of the office today and no one ever answers.  I return to my partner in crime-Google,  and low and behold find a second number for his office- disconnected.
Though I hated to drag her into to yet another thing that isn't really in her domain, I texted AngelCakes.  In a very short period of time I get a text from her that says, "They received the authorization yesterday, but said it could take up to 72 hours to schedule the appointment."  I quickly responded my thanks, which was sincere, but tacked on an additional message, since an ounce of sarcasm impedes a flood of tears. "Thanks so much. Guess it is good that he isn't critical.  Umm wait...."
Within the next hour I get another text- May 10.  Wish everyone had an AngelCakes.
So sixteen days is not ten days, but what are you going to do?
The timing is always interesting to me.  This year was a whole new state testing, that went on without me.  The MRI is on the day of our big Mother's Day Program that my fifth graders and I make treats and set up.  If you've read my blog much you know I've come to approach Veteran's Day with caution. Now it will be May.
One week and two days.  Still, we won't find out anything then. The person who oversees the MRI will have to go over it with the surgeon, then we'll be called in to hear the results.  The test is on Friday, so who knows when. Likely have to sing the blues to AngelCakes to get an answer. This waiting is unnerving.
Handy Man and I took a longer walk this evening, watching a big snake in the creek, checking out the neighbors.  He continues to look good, have a good appetite and is in better spirits today.

His sister brought supper when she came to visit. A sweet friend at work volunteered setting up a meal train.  I'm so glad for that technology.   I told her I'd like to wait on that.  This is quite a different experience from my usual critical care patients.  He isn't or hasn't been in pain, in a coma, on a vent, unable to as much as wipe his own nose, so since we've been home, cooking is a good distraction for me. Still, it is nice sometimes for supper to appear on your table.  I don't know how it will be if we have a big surgery. 

I've had a hard time reading, a hard time praying more than constant breath prayers.  Sometimes, a lot I guess, I read about four books a week.  All kinds.  I've always wanted to love poetry, but I just can never stick with it for long.  Mary Oliver is the exception.  Her writing is in one way plain and straightforward, but in another way, deep. 

From Devotions by Mary Oliver

Prayer

It doesn't have to be

the blue iris, it could be

weeds in a vacant lot, or a few

small stones; just

pay attention , then patch


a few words together and don't try

to make them elaborate, this isn't

a contest, but the doorway


into thanks, and a silence in which

another voice may speak.

Not a contest, a doorway into thanks, Wow
I'm thankful for the love and prayers being poured out on our behalf.
Thankful for a peaceful place and lovely weather to watch the world go.
Thankful for the hand I have to hold.

Be Still My Heart

So, went to work to sign FMLA papers today.  I told Handy Man to go to see his friends.  He said you weren't supposed be in the work area when you weren't working. I replied, umm, well let's just say I replied something that ended with,"Just go." He did and everyone was glad to see him. 

He took his uniforms back in and learned all about what his forty-one years of never being late and not missing a day for thirty-nine years, plus thousands of hours of overtime and weekends gets him.
Suffice it to say, it was a sad day.

Then you have to take the papers to the doctor, and then you have to pick them up and take them back.

Finally after four days, countless phone calls, I picked up that prescription an hour before he was supposed to have his next dose. Some magician finally waved their magic wand and we went from four days of pills at 134 dollars, to thirty days for $40. That is some serious magic. I need that wand.

Some folks have commented that  they are afraid to call and disturb him. Let's set some parameters.
8 to 11 in the morning, 3 to 6 in the afternoon are good times to call or visit. That way he can have an afternoon nap.  Nothing set in stone there.

He appreciates the thoughts, cards and visits and please don't stop those prayers.

We still have no appointment for the cardiac MRI. I will start calling tomorrow.

The porch sitting is so lovely.  Hope you have some porch sitting wherever you are .

Technology

For all the technology we have to use, communication still seems hard.  Handy Man and I headed to his primary care office this morning to try to straighten out the need for the pre-authorization for a med.  I also thought, since we were there, I would ask for a copy of his records.  While we were waiting, someone came out to request that we see the nurse practitioner, the person he saw three times in the last six months.  Let's just say I felt worse than if I been dunked in ice water.  I had not intended to address this situation today. Just not really in emotional shape.  I sent out an emergency call for prayer. I figured we'd all come out in better shape if the Holy Spirit went before me. We had to wait there a while.  Then back in the room for a long time. Oh, not before paying for the visit don't you know.  So he comes in and acts just exactly like Handy Man's  getting a check up for a sinus infection, so dunk number two.  I never said one word unless there was clarification needed.  I don't believe I've ever seen anyone go through a few papers so thoroughly in my life.   Finally, after saying he would take care of the med situation, asked if we had any questions.  I said that I had a question. Handy Man had clearly had this heart injury for a long time. How was it overlooked?  At first he bumbled around and said even the hospital report shows how atypical he is, stout, not showing obvious signs. I said, "I'm sorry, a sixty plus man presenting fluctuating blood pressure and excruciating chest pain did not clue you in that at the minimum a stress test and EKG was called for?"  Finally, he said that he was thinking of the event as back pain and completely missed the obvious, he should have explored it further.  By this time, I was teary, not over the top, not yelling or being dramatic I just said the truth. "Now his very life is at risk and I am shattered." " I don't have anymore questions." And we left.

We still don't have the med.

Today showed no weight gain-good.  A perfect blood pressure- good.  Still a good appetite.  Each day I ask how he's doing and each day he says, " I'm not afraid, I think I'm going to be okay."  That will be just fine by me.

Shower time is intimidating, when the bomber vest comes off.  I just stand and wonder how you do heart percussions and call 911 and well all sorts of things.  I was holding the towel in front of the heater, waiting to hurry his vest back on and this cotton boll wreath was right in front of me.  Seems I spend a lot of time trying to get my mind in a better place so I was just thinking about God creating cotton and wondering if He smiled thinking about all the things people would figure out to do with it. Wonder if He pictured it being spun out into thread.  Then did He imagine indigo, so they could be dyed blue, like the sky?  And who else could have thought up all that silk thread in moth cocoons, and the strength of that stuff.

Who thought of this life giving vest? Thank you Lord for that person.  We got the new one today, so I had to change the electronics. Ugh, just praying you do it right.

An alarm woke us up at one a.m. this morning. Thank God, I  immediately knew it wasn't the heart stopping siren, it was an alarm we hadn't heard at training. A lead was off. The flashing light was orange, not red.  I found it pretty quickly.  Gee, whiz. Probably happened because you need to change the vest  every other day so they don't get loose.  We were supposed to get the second one on Friday. It just came today.  

My Indy friend came to spend the afternoon. She brought some yummy lunch and we planted more flowers. My favorite thing to do. Handy Man was glad to be warm enough to rock away part of the day on the front porch.  More friends stopped by through the afternoon -helps the time go faster as we await MRI.  

Prettying Things Up

This morning, we went to visit his Mom. She had not been able to see him yet, and I surely do know how Mamas fret. Sunday is his usual visiting day.  He then went to church with me. He said the ministers had been to see him so often, he guess he needed to go see them. 
That was plenty, so an afternoon of rest for the Handy Man.
Drummer Boy came out to weed eat and mow again already.

This littlest Pixie is turning four.  Our baby!

 Aunt Tish and Jordan came as well to help me  clean out the chicken coop and weed and mulch and pull the  porch out of the grip of winter dog house and leaf debris.

Phil so appreciates them all jumping in, but I know he also is sad, being a bystander.

He was able to grill chicken for our dinner and it felt, for a minute, well just normal to have a kitchen full of hungry kids.  Buttercup helped me make the coconut cream pies that didn't get made from Easter.  

I had to run to school to leave the sub some lesson plans. I didn't realize it was so late.  I got about half way through before dark.  I have no idea what it is, but dark is when this situation is the most frightening.  I'll have to go back and finish in the morning.

I think we're both ready for a big rest!